Dining jokes
A woman comes from a restaurant and ate a lot of beans.
When she gets home, her husband puts a blindfold on her and says not to take it off. The lady hears her husband leave the room and starts farting really loudly. When the husband comes back and takes off the blindfold, the lady sees 12 people with pegs on their noses singing happy birthday!
A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"
A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"
Why can’t orphans eat at a family restaurant? Because they don’t have a mom or dad.
Recently I visited a restaurant in Crotone. When I was done eating, I told the waitress I was “Penaldo” with my food. She instantly knew that I was finished with my food.
Why can't orphans eat at a family restaurant?
Because there is no family.
Why did the student cannibal rush to the cafeteria?
He wanted to eat ahead of the others.
What's the only thing with 4 legs Asians don't eat? A table.
"Waiter, my steak is too skinny."
"It's a strip steak, sir."
"At these prices, it should not only strip, but sing and dance too!"
What restaurant does Africa own? M.T. Bellies.
The waiter comes and asks you for the check. Instead I give him a 20 dollar bill and say, "Boy, you can keep it!"
Why can't orphans go to family restaurants?
Because they don't have a family to go with.
Why can't Tottenham open a restaurant? Because they have no silverware.
The waiter asked me, "How would you like your steak?"
I replied, "As soon as possible!"
Waitress: You wanna box for your leftovers?
Me: No, but I'll arm wrestle you for the check.
Waitress: You wanna box for your leftovers?
Me: No, but I'll arm wrestle you for the bill.
A mom and her two children were eating at a place while playing trivia when she asked what does AIDS stand for? Her son Dallyn has no idea, but her daughter Emberlee, who has always been a little odd, says, "An Intentional Disease." Her brother and mom just stared!
Why couldn't the orphan go into the restaurant?
It was family friendly.
Where do you go to get the best fish?
A restaurant on the Titanic.
Once I ate a table... it was food consuming.
Can orphans go to a family restaurant?