Dick's jokes
Okay, boys are known to measure their dicks, but do girls measure their depths?
Roses are red, violets are blue, You'll suck my dick 'cause I'm stronger than you.
BULLY vs. QUIET KID
Bully: I bet your dick is as small as a Tic Tac.
Quiet Kid: That's why your mom's breath smells so good.
QUIET KID WINS
What's the difference between your mom and a fat female cow...
A female cow doesn't have a dick.
Yo mama so poop and peepee and sucks on dick.
Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Why couldn't the pervert cross the road? Because his dick was in the chicken's ass!
Q. What do Kenny's dick and this joke have in common?
A. They're both really short.
Little Johnny once was at a camp and asked his teacher if he could sleep with her because he was homesick, so the teacher said yes. A few seconds later, Little Johnny asked if he could run his finger in her bellybutton, and she said yes.
A few seconds later, she moaned and felt so good, but it was not his finger putting it down her bellybutton; it was his dick and her penis.
What do you call a fish that has a dick?
Moby Dickkkkk!
Oh, fuckshit, bitch, damn cocksucker.
Pussy, asshole, cunt.
Mother fuckin' dirty whore, shat onto my lunch.
Pisscunt, damn bitch, suck my dick.
Jesus Harold Christ!
Shit bitch, cocksucker, Goddamn motherfucker, pussy, asshole cunt!
How do you turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Well... for starts, you grab that ass of his, drag him into the bathroom, and tell him to suck my long, big pineapple, and thus, you have yourself one straight guy converted into a dick-sucking machine.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I have a small dick. Too bad for her, because I give good sex.
SHAENAYA WANTS TO SUCK EVERYBOYS DICK BESIDES MINE CAUSE SHE A THIRSTY HOE.
Watching porn.
Watching porn blow my dick like a basset horn.
Jay and Andrew are best friends who are almost alike. The difference between them both is Jay is poor and well... Andrew, on the other hand, is suck-a-dick poor. Let me explain, Jay wakes up in his room, walks to the kitchen, and asks his mom, Lisa (I call her Lisa now, btw), if there is anything to eat. "No, bitch!" she replies, so Jay drinks a glass of milk and goes back to bed.
Now Andrew... wakes up, jumps out of bed, and he's in the kitchen. He sees his mom fixing some food for work after a long hard night of giving her husband blue balls. "Anything left for me, Mother?" Andrew asks. "Sorry, Honey, I have to eat to put food on the table and to get the running again." *so she goes to work, taking her time* Andrew sits by his bedside and says to himself, "Man... I'd suck a dick for some water right now." *his mom storms back after hearing what he had said* "I'll buy you a soda if you do my first customer for me!"
Dick cheese, booty hole, yellow cum shot, anal shit, dick hole, ass brownies.
Kids are only virgins because their dicks are small.
There was a man in a tower, and the other man thought it was a girl, so he said, "Let down your long hair." He said, "OK, I will let my big, super long, hairy penis down for you to climb and suck." Then the other man said, "If you have such a long dick, suck it yourself. See ya, b*tch."
How do you surprise a 50-year-old man? By putting a 12-inch dick through his ass.
He said, "Best surprise ever!"
I have a trans friend.
He is in a polyamorous relationship and would be straight if they had a dick.