Dick's jokes

A friend of mine chews gum, lays back to yawn, then chokes on the gum. Then I said, "God, what, you choking on dick?"

How is a woman like a condom?

Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

Highest level of insult by a girl by seeing a guy's dick:

"I can shit bigger logs than that thing of your's" 🤣

He probably picks hair off his dad’s dick, then probably puts it in his hair.

What's the difference between a dick and a cannon?

Your dick shots longer.

"Dick dick dick, fuck dick nugget shit."

Roses are red, shit is brown, Get that dick out my ass so we can go to town.

What happens when you combine candy and dick? That creepy guy down the street!

Once, there was a brother and a sister that shared a YouTube channel. He named it "Penis Dick Marathon."

Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Why couldn't the pervert cross the road? Because his dick was in the chicken's ass!

My girlfriend said, "GIMME EIGHT INCHES AND MAKE IT HURT!"

So I pumped my dick in her 4 times and hit her in the head with a brick.

How do you shrivel a dick?

My teacher asked what was the worst time you got paddled by your parents. My one friend said that he got in trouble and got whacked by a stick. I raised my hand and said that my dad whacked me with his dick.

Suck my dick!

(Ron Jeremy)

Friend: Do you know him?

Other Friend: Know who?

Friend: My dick!

Your dick is so small it's the size of a tic tac. Oh, that's why your mom's breath was so fresh last night.

Thing to say during sex, "grab his dick and twist it!"

My boyfriend recently asked me to suck his cock. I was kinda nervous because I’ve never tasted a dick, but he said it doesn’t taste that bad, so I’ll give it a shot.

When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:

"Enjoy the little things."

I have a penis.

How's that for a fucking joke? It's not a joke. It's terrible.

500 thumbs down and I'll lop off my dick with a razor.