Development jokes
Boy: Have you heard of the cool kid who just told us he had autism?
Teacher: What?
Boy: Well... never mind, he's well supported.
What’s the difference between a zit and a priest? The zit waits 'til you're 12 to cum on your face.
What makes a software developer feel rich?
Their cache.
Weenis long.
Little girls cry. Big girls say, "F*ck."
God: Ok, so I created adults. And I created how they are supposed to look from being born to preteen.
Satan: (slides in) I’ll take over for you, pops.
God: I dunno... this is very delicate work. Just one wrong thing can ruin the system.
Satan: Don’t worry your beard off! (Pats his back) I’ll just do the ages from 12 to 18!
God: Hmm... I’m still not- (Gets a call on his phone) Shoot, I got to take this. (Answers call) Don’t touch anything, Lucifer! (Walks away)
Satan:.......(just touches lightly, and alarms start blaring. He squeaks and runs away)
God: (rushes in) WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!?!
God: (tries fixing problems. Only gets alarms off) Fuck me........
God:....(sighs) Fine, it’ll stay. We’ll just call it....puberty.
If babies stay in their mothers for 9 months, are they not 9 months old when they are born?
Why did the kid named Jeff become gay? Because he grew up without a father figure. Hahaha, I love dark humor!
What's the difference between a 14-year-old boy and an 8-year-old boy?
The 14-year-old is on top, the 8-year-old is on the bottom.
What's the difference between America and a bottle of milk?
In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture.