Desert Jokes

There was an Indian riding in the desert when he saw a little blond-haired white girl up ahead. He heard her crying. So he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her “Hey what’s going on ? Why you cry ? Where are your parents ? What happened ?”. The girl said under a crying sad voice “The bandidos came, killed my father, my brothers then my mother and raped my sister.” The Indian just laughed, untied and dropped his breech cloth then said “Guess this isn’t your day is it”

3
Anonymous

cat in desert be like YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

Anonymous

There was a Cowboy riding in an desert when he saw a little girl up ahead. He heard her crying. So he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her "Hey what’s going on ? Why do you cry ? Where are your parents ? What happened ?". The girl said under an crying sad voice "The indians came, killed my father and my mother and raped my sister." The Cowboy just laughed unlocked his belt and put his trousers down and said “Guess it isn’t your day is it”.

HEHA

what do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? your father.

tommy

i want to die

0
in Little Johnny

We’re no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I (do I) A full commitment’s what I’m thinking of You wouldn’t get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I’m feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you We’ve known each other for so long Your heart’s been aching, but you’re too shy to say it (say it) Inside, we both know what’s been going on (going on) We know the game and we’re gonna play it And if you ask me how I’m feeling Don’t tell me you’re too blind to see Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you We’ve known each other for so long Your heart’s been aching, but you’re too shy to say it (to say it) Inside, we both know what’s been going on (going on) We know the game and we’re gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I’m feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

NR Crazy

so there is someone who doesn’t know what an armadilo is. He then sees one. he askes it a question. “What are you?” the armadilo replies, “Armadilo.” the person says: “What’s a dilo?”

igloo and you

There’s a man crawling through the desert. He’d decided to try his SUV in a little bit of cross-country travel, had great fun zooming over the badlands and through the sand, got lost, hit a big rock, and then he couldn’t get it started again. There were no cell phone towers anywhere near, so his cell phone was useless. He had no family, his parents had died a few years before in an auto accident, and his few friends had no idea he was out here. He stayed with the car for a day or so, but his one bottle of water ran out and he was getting thirsty. He thought maybe he knew the direction back, now that he’d paid attention to the sun and thought he’d figured out which way was north, so he decided to start walking. He figured he only had to go about 30 miles or so and he’d be back to the small town he’d gotten gas in last. He thinks about walking at night to avoid the heat and sun, but based upon how dark it actually was the night before, and given that he has no flashlight, he’s afraid that he’ll break a leg or step on a rattlesnake. So, he puts on some sun block, puts the rest in his pocket for reapplication later, brings an umbrella he’d had in the back of the SUV with him to give him a little shade, pours the windshield wiper fluid into his water bottle in case he gets that desperate, brings his pocket knife in case he finds a cactus that looks like it might have water in it, and heads out in the direction he thinks is right. He walks for the entire day. By the end of the day he’s really thirsty. He’s been sweating all day, and his lips are starting to crack. He’s reapplied the sunblock twice, and tried to stay under the umbrella, but he still feels sunburned. The windshield wiper fluid sloshing in the bottle in his pocket is really getting tempting now. He knows that it’s mainly water and some ethanol and coloring, but he also knows that they add some kind of poison to it to keep people from drinking it. He wonders what the poison is, and whether the poison would be worse than dying of thirst. He pushes on, trying to get to that small town before dark. By the end of the day he starts getting worried. He figures he’s been walking at least 3 miles an hour, according to his watch for over 10 hours. That means that if his estimate was right that he should be close to the town. But he doesn’t recognize any of this. He had to cross a dry creek bed a mile or two back, and he doesn’t remember coming through it in the SUV. He figures that maybe he got his direction off just a little and that the dry creek bed was just off to one side of his path. He tells himself that he’s close, and that after dark he’ll start seeing the town lights over one of these hills, and that’ll be all he needs. As it gets dim enough that he starts stumbling over small rocks and things, he finds a spot and sits down to wait for full dark and the town lights. Full dark comes before he knows it. He must have dozed off. He stands back up and turns all the way around. He sees nothing but stars. He wakes up the next morning feeling absolutely lousy. His eyes are gummy and his mouth and nose feel like they’re full of sand. He so thirsty that he can’t even swallow. He barely got any sleep because it was so cold. He’d forgotten how cold it got at night in the desert and hadn’t noticed it the night before because he’d been in his car. He knows the Rule of Threes - three minutes without air, three days without water, three weeks without food - then you die. Some people can make it a little longer, in the best situations. But the desert heat and having to walk and sweat isn’t the best situation to be without water. He figures, unless he finds water, this is his last day. He rinses his mouth out with a little of the windshield wiper fluid. He waits a while after spitting that little bit out, to see if his mouth goes numb, or he feels dizzy or something. Has his mouth gone numb? Is it just in his mind? He’s not sure. He’ll go a little farther, and if he still doesn’t find water, he’ll try drinking some of the fluid. Then he has to face his next, harder question - which way does he go from here? Does he keep walking the same way he was yesterday (assuming that he still knows which way that is), or does he try a new direction? He has no idea what to do. Looking at the hills and dunes around him, he thinks he knows the direction he was heading before. Just going by a feeling, he points himself somewhat to the left of that, and starts walking. As he walks, the day starts heating up. The desert, too cold just a couple of hours before, soon becomes an oven again. He sweats a little at first, and then stops. He starts getting worried at that - when you stop sweating he knows that means you’re in trouble - usually right before heat stroke. He decides that it’s time to try the windshield wiper fluid. He can’t wait any longer - if he passes out, he’s dead. He stops in the shade of a large rock, and takes the bottle.

“BETTER NATE THAN LEVER!!!”

Honest Penaldo Fan
in Penaldo

I was in sahara desert, dying of thirst. Thankfully, pionel pessi the debut man came to my rescue👨‍🚒 He brought in 100’s of helicopters filled with bottles to quench my thirst. I asked him how he had so many bottles, “big games” he replied. Thanks for saving my life my idol.

no1

3 men were lost in the desert and found a genie who granted each of them a wish, the 1st man wished he was home with his family, the 2nd man wished he was home with his family, and the 3rd man wished they were all back together again.

Anonymous

A 60 year old man is walking along a deserted road with a 12 year old boy. It’s getting dark, and the boy says “Hey mister, it’s getting dark and I’m scared”. The man replies, “You’re scared? I’ve got to walk back to town alone”.

1
8
in Gun

What can’t a Desert Eagle and Barrett do for stealth missions? They can’t be way too loud.

Anonymous
in Star Wars

What does a Tusken Raider eat after his meal? Some Desert!

I LOVE AARON
in Aaron

We’re no strangers to aaron You know the rules and so do I (do I) A full commitment’s what I’m thinking of You wouldn’t get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I’m feeling Gotta make you understand Never aaron give you up Never aaron let you down Never aaron run around and desert you Never aaron make you cry Never aaron say goodbye Never aaron tell a lie and hurt you We’ve known each other for so long Your heart’s been aching, but you’re too shy to say it (say it) Inside, we both know what’s been going on (going on) We know the game and we’re aaron play it And if you ask me how I’m feeling Don’t tell me you’re too blind to see Never aaron give you up Never aaron let you down Never aaron run around and desert you Never aaron make you cry Never aaron say goodbye Never aaron tell a lie and hurt you Never aaron give you up Never aaron let you down Never aaron run around and desert you Never aaron make you cry Never aaron say goodbye Never aaron tell a lie and hurt you We’ve known each other for so long Your heart’s been aching, but you’re too shy to say it (to say it) Inside, we both know what’s been going on (going on) We know the game and we’re aaron play it I just wanna tell you how I’m feeling Gotta make you understand Never aaron give you up Never aaron let you down Never aaron run around and desert you Never aaron make you cry Never aaron say goodbye Never aaron tell a lie and hurt you Never aaron give you up Never aaron let you down Never aaron run around and desert you Never aaron make you cry Never aaron say goodbye Never aaron tell a lie and hurt you Never aaron give you up Never aaron let you down Never aaron run around and desert you Never aaron make you cry Never aaron say goodbye Never aaron tell a lie and hurt you

Neyo cunningham
in Chocolate

What is bugs bunny favorite desert chocolate carrots balls.

Yeetus

Three men were going for a drive through the desert. An hour later, the car breaks down. They all take something from the car to keep themselves cool as they walk tp the nearest gas station a few miles back. One guy grabs a hand-held fan. Another guy grabs the jug of water. The last guy takes the car door off. About 15 minutes into walking, the other two are giving the one guy weird looks. Finally, one of them asks why he is taking the car door. The third guy just replies that whenever he gets hot he can just roll down the window.

Allan C.
in Bible

And the children of Israel wandered round the desert for 40 years, until eventually Moses’ wife said “Are you going to ask for directions or what?”.