Depression

Depression Jokes

Coffin

When I die, I'll let everyone I kept dear lower my coffin into the ground.

So they can let me down one last time.

Detention

I got detention for giving an emo kid a glow stick... I tried to lighten his spirit.

Bed

I might not be able to make my bed, but at least I can get out of it.

Piece

MU, I love your joke, but I cut myself a piece of cake, pie, steak, cheesecake, and anything else I can find.

Car

Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.

Wife

My wife told me she was fat and depressed. She asked me to compliment her, so I said, "You have perfect eyesight!"

Patient

Imagine this scenario: a doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses in the world like this: "You have depression, diarrhea, cancer,... etc." and then the last one on the list is that he is deaf.

Cereal

Tiktoker: I will kill anyone who pours milk before cereal.

Depressed kid tiktok reply: *pours milk before cereal, pours cereal then takes a bite* I'll wait.