Motivational thing jokes

What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person?

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

What's one of the worst motivational things to say to a suicidal person?

“Hang in there!”

What's the most motivational thing to say to an orphan? Go big or go home!

"Rehab's for quitters, and I don't give up."

If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep... That’ll give you a reason to get up in the morning.

Sometimes I just wake up in the morning, and think, "Well, better luck next time."

My teacher gave us an assignment, and one of the questions was "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

I answered, "Happy."

The teacher said I didn't understand the test. I said to her that she didn't understand life.