New Deciding Jokes - Page 4 - Worst Jokes Ever

For 9/11, I decided to bomb my twins.

Hey, my sister said you're Mattick, so I decided to swim with her and she threw a ball at me, so I went to my dad and she said, "Why did you tell dad?" She was crying because I’m not getting a car seat.

So the Devil decided to go to McDonald's and grab some lunch. What does he get?

A hot and spicy McChicken and three six-piece nuggets.

A man was shaving in the bathroom when all of a sudden Bubba, the boy he payed to mow his lawn, comes in to take a piss. The man can't help but look over his shoulder and he is surprised at how well endowed he is, and he asks: "Bubba, what's your secret?"

Bubba replies: "Well, every night before I get in bed with a woman I whack my dick on the bedpost three times. It works, and it sure impresses the girls!"

The man was excited at this easy suggestion and decided to try it that very night, before he went to bed with his wife. So he got to bed and whacked his dick on the bedpost three times and the wife wakes up and says "Bubba, is that you?"

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I decided to take her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

After long consideration, I've decided to get a zebra tattoo on my wrist. Not like anyone will notice the difference.

So you decide one day to ask your son if he wants to f**k, do you do it for 3 hours, then you realize how will I explain another pregnancy to my sterile husband?

I can't decide if I like rocking chairs or not.

I keep going back and forth on them.

My willy was feeling itchy, so I decided to go to the doctor.

My doctor was foreign and spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. As I returned home, I noticed my willy was gone! Pessi stole my PENis thinking it was a Penalty just so he could statpad. SHAME ON YOU!

I was in my first space mission for NASA. As we were orbiting the asteroid belt, I saw a figure. I couldn’t tell who it was, but he spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. He said, “I’m looking for my freekicks and penalties, can you help me find them?” We then decided to aid him.

This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"

What's the code thing on Minecraft that decides the world generation?

Seed?

Seedeeznuts!

Fun fact: Pringles are named Pringles because somebody decided to name them Pringles.

Friend: “What's that on your arm?”

Me: “Oh, nothing. Just decided I wanted to cosplay a tiger.”

A kid decided to burn his house down.

His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."

We have decided to delete this part of this site on 10/24/2022.

Little Johnny walked into his house. He heard a banging sound from up above and decided to investigate. He opened the door to his parents' room and saw his naked mom and the woman next door. He thought they were wrestling and decided to join in.

A young teen was walking home from school and having a nice day.

She gets home, eats, showers, and heads to her room. The young teen hears her mother say something. Not sure what she said, the girl replies with "ok."

The young teen was gonna head to bed, wondering when her mom was gonna come in and say goodnight. She lays in bed, but then she hears her mom's voice say, "Hunny, I'm home." She doesn't bother to say ok.

Later, when she decides to sleep, she gets a message from her mom saying to unlock the door, that she lost her keys. :)