I am a failure to everyone and decided to attemp a suicide, guess what? I failed
Why is it that when women decide to kill an unborn baby, it's a "CHOICE," but when I decide to drive my F-150 into a playground full of kids, it's called "MURDER"!
When I was young, I decided to go to a medical school. At the entrance exam, we were asked to re-arrange letters
'PNEIS'
and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect.
Those who answered 'SPINE' are doctors.
Did you hear about the bisexual from Alabama? He can't decide whether to fuck his brother or his sister.
Why did the male orphan decide to be gay
Because he wanted someone to call daddy
a little boy decided to burn a house down. the father put his arm around his wife, tears in his eyes, saying, "thats arson"
Chuck Norris decided to sell his urine as an energy drink, which you now know as RedBull
I went to the shooting range the other day after a while I realized I was the only one there so I decided to go home and saw on the news that there was a mass school shooting and there were reporters on the scene, man I knew I should have stayed around a little longer.
friend: “ whats that on your arm” me: “ oh nothing just decided i wanted to cosplay a tiger “
A friend of mine loves to play Roulette, so I decided to introduce him to Russian Roulette. It blew his mind.
I've decided to marry a pencil. I can't wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.
After long consideration, I’ve decided to get a zebra tattoo on my wrist. Not like anyone will notice the difference.
I decided to visit Saudi Arabia with my girlfriend.
She and I learned they celebrate Pride month by throwing stones.
Suicide gives your security for the future. Decide the day of suicide and live with full joy till that day and you can choose to postpone it.
How come when women decide to kill their unborn baby its a "choice". But when I decide to drive my car into a playground full of children its called "murder".
I saw a man trying to rape a girl,i decided to help, she didn't stand a chance against both of us
So my sister is a feminist I asked her what do you to hear a rape joke she said no I still decided to force one down her throat anyway.
I was going on a date when I decided to put on Penaldo’s PR7 cologne to smell good. As I put on the cologne, my skin started to turn invisible! I then realized the cologne had made me turn into a ghost 👻. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my date 😡
My ex boyfriend tried to scan himself at the supermarket check out for fun.
“See how I can’t scan myself? It’s because I’m priceless”
I decided I’d scan my wrist too, just for fun.
Found out I’m worth $3.97
I won the lottery for a million dollars today, so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity. -- I now have $999,999.75.
