Dead jokes
Dark Jokes R Like Puppies:
Once they come out they are trash, but once it starts to get older, that’s when it’s noticed, but when it gets too old, you either proclaim it dead or never talk about it.
(I would never do that though I love puppies)
What is worse to have - a dead baby or a dead Santa Claus?
Santa. You need extra freezers for reindeer.
You're dumb, but that's not what she said.
"I’m sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing.
Except at a funeral.
What is a dead kid's favorite anime? Bleach.
1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don't have to do this class anymore.
2: I'm dying, finally.
3: I'm sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm expected to be dead by then.
On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I'm getting checks. I hope for the best :/
If at first you don't succeed,
Maybe Russian Roulette isn't for you.
How is Stephen Hawking dead?
His Windows shit down.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Fortnite is dead and so are you.
What do you do when a baby starts to cry?
You use more lube.
What is black and white and is dead?
My Chemical Romance.
Roses are dead, violets are dead. I am a bad gardener.
Dean's sex life.
What do you call a baby in an elevator?
Lubrication.
What is the best way to catch a baby from falling off the roof?
With a pitchfork.
What is red, bubbling, and scratching at a window?
A baby in the microwave.
What do you call an annoying emo kid? A nuisance.
What's better than a pile of dead babies?
One that's alive in the middle that has to eat its way out.
I will never forget my girlfriend's last words... "Get off of me! STOP!" *slurp*... Dead.
Q: Why did the baby cross the road? A: It was stapled to the chicken.
Q: Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the baby fall out of the tree? A: Because it was stapled to the koala.
Q: Why did the tree fall over? A: The koala never let go.
Q: Why did the kangaroo die? A: Because the koala landed on it.