Dead Person jokes
What's the difference between a dead person and a walkie-talkie?
A dead person does not walkie or talkie.
Who is not hungry in Africa?
A dead person.
What's a dead person's favorite sentence?
"I made it."
Wanna see a mistake go on camera and take a pic of you?
Someone telling a joke:
Boy: "My parents are dead."
Girl: "My grandad is too."
Orphan who listened to it: "That joke is dead!"
Person who told the joke: "So is your family!"
What do you sing on a dead person's birthday?
"Happy Death-Day To You!"
What’s the difference between a living and dead person?
I don’t know, I just bury the coffin.
If you die a virgin, then where does your v-card go? Does it go with you to the grave, or does your mortician take it from you?
When you die, people cry and wish you to come back.
But when you do, people scream and run away.
Person A: C'mon person B, just be happy, smile.
Person B: Over my dead body.
Person B: *gets the noose*
Three dead bodies are delivered to the mortuary one day. Each of them has a great big smile on their face.
The coroner examines the bodies and then calls the police to tell them what has happened.
"First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector," says the coroner.
"Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
The inspector then asks, "What about the third body?"
"Ah," says the coroner, "This is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the redneck from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning."
"Why is he smiling then?" asks the inspector.
"He thought he was having his picture taken."
I recently found out that my grandma died. We did an autopsy, and the results came back. They were pretty shocking.
We found out that she died............... from an autopsy.