Dead Baby jokes

What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

So, a woman gives birth to a child, and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down. Then, he starts swinging it around the room, slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, “Let my baby go, you sick bastard!” The doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, “I’m just kidding, it was already dead.”

What's funnier than a dead baby?

A dead baby in a clown suit.

What's worse than a dead baby?

A pile of dead babies.

What's worse than that?

One's alive at the bottom.

What's even worse than THAT?

It eats it's way out.

Wait it gets worse...

It goes back for seconds.

Just one more I swear...

It fucks one of it's siblings at the bottom.

I used to have a son, but he died the same way Eric Clapton's son died. For inspiration.

One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.

She asked me, "What are you doing?"

I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."

She asked, "What does that mean?"

I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."

What’s the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby?

Dogs only lick peanut butter off private parts.

I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.

So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.

What do you call a dead baby?

Spawn killed.

What's the difference between a dead baby in my trash can and a discarded sex toy?

...

I'm still trying to think of an answer.

Abortion is a really touchy subject for me. On one hand, there's dead babies! But on the other hand, women get a choice.

Did you know the Bible has a passage about killing babies by smashing them against rocks?

That's probably because microwaves hadn't been invented yet.

So.. err actually, don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies, but I had to abort.

What's the difference between soccer and a dead baby?

I don't wear steel cap boots when I play soccer.

What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby?

I take my boots off before jumping on a trampoline.

What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange?

I don't keep a trash bag full of oranges in my basement.

(sorry in advance this joke is brutal)

What has 12 heads and 24 eyes?

The bin at the back of the abortion clinic.

What's the difference between 100 dead babies and a Lamborghini?

I don't have a Lamborghini.

What do dead babies and fruit have in common? Both can become smoothies with the help of a blender!

What is the difference between a dead baby and an orphan?

The dead baby happened on purpose while the orphan came out as an accident!