Dark jokes

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Baby

  • Q. How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    A. Gotta be more than 9 'cause my basement is still dark.

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  • Batman

  • Robin asks Batman what he is getting his parents for Christmas. Batman gets mad, slaps Robin, and runs off crying.

    Now you know why Batman Beyond was born when Bruce died. cause of death: suicide

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    Puppy

  • Dark Jokes R Like Puppies:

    Once they come out they are trash, but once it starts to get older, that’s when it’s noticed, but when it gets too old, you either proclaim it dead or never talk about it.

    (I would never do that though I love puppies)

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  • Old Man

  • An old man walks in a forest with a child, and the child says, "It's dark, and I'm scared." The old man says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk out alone."

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    Man

  • A man takes a boy into the woods.

    Boy says:

    "Mister, I’m scared, and it’s dark and cold."

    The Man: "How do you think I feel? I’m walking out here alone!"

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  • Baby

  • How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?

    Must be more than 9, my basement is still dark!

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    Cop

  • How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?

    None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.

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  • Poem

  • I don’t have a joke but a poem about a sex/dark joke.

    Row, row, row your boat, Gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, I can make you scream!

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    Dark Humor

  • Rules of Dark humor:

    1. All subject matter can be used, nothing is off limits.

    2. No saying "Me" or "My Life" as a joke. Nobody finds those funny. We want actual good and meaningful jokes.

    3. Don't Repeat Previously Posted Jokes. If you are saying the same joke that the person right before you posted you are just begging for attention and nobody by any means likes that.

    I will add more in the future and be frequent on this site.

    - Sincerely, Zane

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  • Baby

  • How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    More than 9 because my basement is still dark.

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    Grape

  • *bowl of dark grapes*

    Friend 1: I like my grapes how I like my men.

    Friend 2: Black? Good one.

    Friend 1: 21 at a time.

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  • Dark Humor

  • *Hears the news about Sandy Hook* Person 1: "God, I can only imagine what was going through those kids' heads in the last moments of their lives..."

    Person 2: "Probably Bullets."

    Person 1: "OMG!! Can you even think of what their parents are going through?!"

    Person 2: "Probably Coffin Brochures."

    Person 1: "...."

    Person 2: "It's called dark humor. Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it."

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