Dark jokes

Sex

  • The first time I EVER HAD SEX I WAS ALL ALONE. You know why?

    IT WAS DARK and I WAS ALL ALONE!

  • 0
  • Orphan

  • "Why is it that orphans only play tennis?""That's the only love they can get..."

  • 0
  • Woman

  • Dark humor and women are very similar...

    Not everyone appreciates them, but they both give everyone something to make fun of.

  • 1
  • Kid

  • How many kids does it take to change a light bulb? Well, it's not 53, 'cause my basement's still dark.

  • 0
  • Kid

  • How many kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

    Apparently not 27. Because my basement's still dark...

  • 0
  • Dark Humor

  • Kid asks, "What is dark humor?" Me *points*, "See that guy across the street..." Kid: "I can't... I'm blind." Me: "Exactly."

  • 4
  • Dark Humor

  • Son: Mom, what is dark humor?

    Mom: Son, do you see that man trying to tie his shoe with no hands?

    Son: Mother, you know I'm blind and can't see!!

    Mom: Exactly!

  • 4
  • Tooth

  • (I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes.)

    What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

    I was going to tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort.

    Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.

    Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They’re painful to look at.

    Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.

    Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

    I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.

    My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

    Baby

  • What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?

    Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trashcans.