daddy's jokes
So, a daughter goes to her dad and says, "Daddy, can I borrow the car?" He then tells her, "You know what to do." So then she proceeds to suck him off, almost immediately pulls out in disgust, and says, "Ugh, tastes like shit." Her dad then said, "Damn, I forgot your brother took the car."
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one they can call "daddy."
One day I was walking around, then saw this mom mad at her kid and screamed, "You're adopted!" He said, "Yeah, I know. My REAL mommy is still at home with daddy."
Why do you call a priest a father? Because calling them daddy would be too sus.
Why can't an orphan be gay? Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."
Why does a girl orphan want a boyfriend?
To finally call someone Daddy!
Why was the orphan single? Because it could not call someone "daddy".
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy".
Why can't orphans have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy".
what happens when you accidentally taught your child to call every man daddy?
you find the real one.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy".
Guess why orphans can't be gay? Cause they have no one to call Daddy.
Why do orphans become hookers?
They can call someone daddy.
The Trump family are flying from New York to DC when Donald looks down on the cities below.
Trump: "I think I’ll throw a $1000 bill out the window and make some American happy."
Melania: "Oh honey, why not throw ten $100 bills out the window and make ten Americans happy?"
Ivanka: "Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out the window and make 100 people happy."
Pilot: "Why don’t you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?"
"Dad? What's dark humor?" "See that man with no arms over there, son, tell him to clap." "But daddy, I'm blind."
What do boobs and toys have in common?
They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them.
Why can't an orphan be gay?
They have no one to call daddy.
Why can't orphans have babies?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks, “What’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said, “It’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks, “Daddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says, “It’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad, “What does sexy mean?” And the dad says, “Your mother, of course,” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says, “You’re so so sexy!”
So, Little Johnny comes home from school knowing damn well he messed up his math test. His mother and father get home and he tells them, "Mom, I failed my math test." His mother aggressively says, "Get the belt!" Johnny says, "Why?" His mother says, "I'm gonna spank you for failing!" Johnny says, "So just like daddy?" His father turns red knowing what they did last night.