Cut

Cut jokes

Imagine someone leaving a cut-out of Jeff Bezos on your car after you found out your blind bf cheated on you, and the McDonald's employee says over the speaker, "Weren't expecting him to see other hoes were you?"

What do you say to a person who got his whole left side cut off? "Are you all right?!"

Why do an emo's parents not let them cook, because they are afraid they will cut themselves?

Emo people are like other emo people, they're emo. Laugh now or I'll cut your eyes out. Tee hee!

A guy goes ice fishing for the very first time. All of a sudden, he hears a voice. “There are no fish under the ice!”

He ignores it and moves to another area, cuts a hole, and tosses his line in. Again, he hears the booming voice: “There are no fish under the ice!”

He nervously looks up and asks, “Lord? Is that you?”

“No, this is the rink manager!”

I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut, g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g”.

When I self-harmed one day, my mother told me that it cut her deep. We both found that very amusing.

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  • I went to an emo kid who just got a haircut, and instead of saying, "Like your cut, G," I slapped his arm and said, "I like your cuts, G."

    I was telling the emo kid emo jokes, and I couldn’t read them because I was laughing too hard. I almost cut the emo kid. He wasn’t laughing at the jokes.

    Been getting a lot of paper cuts on my fingers lately, I guess it's a sign I should go lower.