Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not, he got nailed before he died!
What’s the difference between Jesus and a hooker?
The look on their face when you're nailing them.
Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it... at least Jesus didn't get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
Jesus walks into a motel, throws 3 nails on the counter, and says, "Can you put me up for a night?"
What's the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
A painting only takes one nail to be hanged.
Jesus seemed like he was probably a good guy; healed the sick, fed the hungry, and gave good advice.
Jesus had only one flaw: he was always hanging around.
What was the last thought Jesus had before he died?
"Man, I could really use a crowbar right about now."
