Criminal Jokes

Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.

I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.

Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.

Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.

Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.

Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.

If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.

Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.

What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.

Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.

Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.

What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.

Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.

Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.

What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

what do u call a nut in jail: a busted nut

Please help me... I’m being held captive by Carl Wheezer.

Ya make 10 paintings, you aren't an artist.

Ya make 20 meals, you aren't a chef.

But when I kill ONE PERSON, I'm a "horrible person" and a "menace to society."

Why is Jeffrey Epstein so bad at races?

Because he comes in a little behind.

Why do orphans want to be criminals because they want to feel what it’s like to be wanted.

Why cant orphans be criminals ?

They arent wanted...

What do you call a child predator and a illegalimmagrant alien vs predator

A cop pulls two Arabian men over, walks up to their window and says "We are looking for two child molesters". Now after a short pause the two men look at each other,then back at the officer and say "we'll do it!"

If you kill someone, that's murder.

If you kill a family member, that's still murder.

If you kill a child, that's "child abuse."

There were three men in a car: the driver, a homeless man, and a rapper. The driver takes them to the woods and says, "I'm not really a cab driver, I'm a wanted killer." The homeless man says, "I'm not really homeless," and pulls out a chain. The rapper says, "If we're gonna be completely honest, I'm not a rapper, I'm a cop!"

What’s the definition of a pedophile Tyler

Have you ever been accused of a crime you didn't commit? Well, I have! I was wrongfully accused of larceny yesterday. I'm not smart enough for that, I just stole some stuff.

What are a pedophiles shoes called

Answer: WHITE VANS

What do you call a sociopath who damages a box of Wheaties? A cereal criminal!

Why don't orphan criminals go to jail?

Because they weren't even wanted.

You do orphans love doing crime?

Cuz they want to be wanted

So, if being a paedophile is a career, then burying the bodies must be gardening.

What do you call a pillow that has been on the bed for 20 years in jail?

A criminal! 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃

I was at a supermarket in Barcelona and I noticed the alarm had gone off. There was a thief at the store; the tea bag section had been ransacked.

Luckily they found the thief, Pionel Pessi, with boxes of his favourite tea, Penaltea. Shame on you, Pessi!