Criminal

Criminal jokes

Case

What does a lawyer defending a killer and a password have in common? They're case sensitive.

Psychic

Did you hear about the four foot tall psychic who escaped prison?

He's a small medium at large.

Crime

Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.

Memes

Bandit

Dont get mad when i post it on Average_Ohion cuz this is my alt im Average_Ohion

The image shows two panels. The first panel is a nighttime image of police vehicles with their lights flashing. The second panel shows a close-up of a man with wide eyes and a shocked expression. Text overlay reads, "Roses are red. Lord give me peace. The Ohio Butthole Tickling Bandit has escaped custody and is being hunted by police." It is signed 'By: Seymore Butts Posted Feb 23, 2023'

Orphan

Why did the orphan become a criminal?

Because he wanted to actually be wanted.

Criminal Record

The interviewer asked me if I had a criminal record when I was requesting Australian citizenship.

I replied, "No. Is that still required?"

Punishment

People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal, and one man came up with a great idea.

He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary.

Orphan

Why do orphans become criminals when they grow up? Because they want to be wanted.

Murder

What’s the only victimless crime you can commit? Murder, cause there’s a victim less!

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  • Orphan

    What is the difference between an orphan and a criminal?

    Only one is wanted.

    Robber

    Why did the robber take a shower before his robbery?

    So he could make a clean getaway!

    Bag

    For someone to be stealing a bag of gold in Heaven, [they are] a criminal on Earth and [in] Heaven.