Criminal

Criminal Jokes

Psychic

Did you hear about the four foot tall psychic who escaped prison?

He's a small medium at large.

Crime

Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.

Orphan

Why did the orphan become a criminal?

Because he wanted to actually be wanted.

Punishment

People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal, and one man came up with a great idea.

He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary.

Orphan

Why do orphans become criminals when they grow up? Because they want to be wanted.

Murder

What’s the only victimless crime you can commit? Murder, cause there’s a victim less!

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  • Orphan

    What is the difference between an orphan and a criminal?

    Only one is wanted.

    Robber

    Why did the robber take a shower before his robbery?

    So he could make a clean getaway!

    Bag

    For someone to be stealing a bag of gold in Heaven, [they are] a criminal on Earth and [in] Heaven.

    Defendant

    Judge to the defendant: "Defendant, do you have a criminal record?"

    "No."

    "Have you always been honest?"

    "No, never been caught!"