Two people just met. One said, “We should do some bonding.” The other nodded and said back, “Titanic.” The first just looked confused so the second one just said, “Sorry, thought that would be a good icebreaker.”
My conversion therapy done worked. Now I only sleep with my sister and not my brother.
teacher: if u keep talking over me i'll call your parents! Orphan: YOU WILL?
can we stop talking about 9/11 my dad died man but he was a good pilot
I was talking to my welsh friend the other day and he suddenly started talking welsh to me then collapsed after the first few sentences. Turns out he had a stroke
I’m so annoyed by those people who just believe in anything they hear. This is a conversation I had a few days ago.
Idiot: The moon landing was faked! So unbelievable fake! Me: You believe in the moon? Stupidass.
Two cows standing in a paddock, one says moo, the other turns to him and says 'I was just going to say that'
What does one math book say to the other? -- "Don't bother me. I've got my own problems!"
What did the mute man tell the blind man? Nothing
Kid: "Hey, are you an orphan?" Friend: "Yeah, but you are too." Kid: "At least my parents wanted me."
I was talking to a beaver about my life. I dont think he really gave a dam about it at all.
Jon said:What do you call a pregnant woman? Mike said: I don’t know what? Jon said: kinder surprise
Ok there has to be SOMEONE on this website right now, whoever that is wanna chat? (im just bored)
Son:DAD DAD OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!
Dad:WHATS WRONG ARE YOU OK?!
SOn:MIA ASKED ME OUT ON A DATE ON FEBRUARY 30th
Dad:Cas theres no february 30th?
I haven't talked to my wife in three weeks. -- I didn't want to interrupt her.
What did the green light say to the red light - don't look I'm changing
Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...
Could a phone booth also be called a chatterbox?
what do you tell a depressed person?
just hang in there!
Two skeleton brothers are talking 1st bro: Hey get up you and do some exercise you are so hevy you weigh a ton! 2nd bro: A skele-TON :)
