Conversation Jokes

My conversion therapy done worked. Now I only sleep with my sister and not my brother.

I was talking to a beaver about my life. I dont think he really gave a dam about it at all.

teacher: if u keep talking over me i'll call your parents! Orphan: YOU WILL?

can we stop talking about 9/11 my dad died man but he was a good pilot

I was talking to my welsh friend the other day and he suddenly started talking welsh to me then collapsed after the first few sentences. Turns out he had a stroke

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Two cows standing in a paddock, one says moo, the other turns to him and says 'I was just going to say that'

What does one math book say to the other? -- "Don't bother me. I've got my own problems!"

What did the mute man tell the blind man? Nothing

Kid: "Hey, are you an orphan?" Friend: "Yeah, but you are too." Kid: "At least my parents wanted me."

Jon said:What do you call a pregnant woman? Mike said: I don’t know what? Jon said: kinder surprise

Ok there has to be SOMEONE on this website right now, whoever that is wanna chat? (im just bored)

Son:DAD DAD OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!

Dad:WHATS WRONG ARE YOU OK?!

SOn:MIA ASKED ME OUT ON A DATE ON FEBRUARY 30th

Dad:Cas theres no february 30th?

Two Italian men get on a bus...

They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. They speak with an Italian accent.

The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

"Emma come first.

Den I come.

Den two asses come together.

I come once-a-more.

Two asses, they come together again.

I come again and pee twice.

Then I come one lasta time."

"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly.

"In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man.

"Who talkin' abouta sexa?

I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."

I haven't talked to my wife in three weeks. -- I didn't want to interrupt her.

I was 11 or 12 at the time.

Guy (passing me): How are you doing? Me, an autist: Pretty bad honestly. Guy (continued walking past me) Me: ...

If you didn’t know, “what’s up” and “how are you doing” are phatic expressions in the United States, meaning that they’re said as greetings even though they literally mean something else.