New Compliment Jokes - Page 3

A blind woman told me I had a big penis yesterday.

I think she was pulling my leg.

You look good now, but you’d look better hanging from my ceiling. ;)

I was cutting the vegetables and my mom asked how I was so skillful.

How did the emo kid compliment the other emo kid? He said, "I like your cuts G."

Say, "Hey, you're pretty." Then she'll say, "OMG, thank you so much," or something cringe. Then you say, "Pretty f***ing ugly, aha, gottie!"

You're just big and good.

What did one tower say to the other? "Damn, you looking fly!"

So, two people are on a date and the guy says, "Wow, you are so beautiful!"

Then the girl says, "You just want to have sex!"

Then the guy adds, "SMART TO!"

Hey girl, are you my boss? 'Cause you just gave me a raise.

One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks, “What’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said, “It’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks, “Daddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says, “It’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad, “What does sexy mean?” And the dad says, “Your mother, of course,” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says, “You’re so so sexy!”

One time a kid came to the hospital and said, "I really need help." The kid said he was really hot, so they put an ice cold towel on him.

Then the doctor asked him if he had any problems, and he said, "Yes, I am really hot." The doctor realized that he looked fine, so he said, "Are you sure? You look amazing." And the kid said that he meant to say, "I look hot!"