The moment you realize that school Kahoot! games are more competitive than the Super Bowl
"did you go to the biscuit eating championship" "yea it was crackers"
Theres a new cooking programme on bbc1 . The contestants are victims of domestic violence. Its called cant cook .... right hook
I went to an orphanage and had a yo mama smack down. That's it.
Me and my little brother were playing Call Of Duty. He wasn't doing very good, so I told him so. My brother said to me, "At least I don't have to camp in order to get kills." I then responded with, "I would call you cancer, but at least cancer kills."
What is a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross-country!!!
Friend #1: "Yo guys, what's the most unfair game you've ever played? For me it's Fortnite."
Friend #2: "I'd have to say Monopoly."
Me: "The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it's a one-way game."
Friend #2: "Uhh...that's not exactly what he meant..."
Friend #1: *calls the suicide hotline*
Chuck Norris and Time had a race.
Result: Time is still running...
My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheese burgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through. So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress I guess :D
I saw a trophy in my sister room. So I said congratulations for your cheer leading. My sister said I didn't win the trophy for cheer leading, so I ask why. My sister said I won because I give the best best jobs.
Two rabbits were racing. Neither could get a-head, so they ended in a hare-tie!
4 cows went to the county fair. They saw a sign that said that next year animals can enter a singing contest. They decided that they would enter next year. So they called their group the 4 Cs Quartet since their names were Clementine, Candy, Cookie, and Columbine. They discovered how they could win. After a discussion they decided to eat as much corn as possible, so they would sing in perfect 4 part hominy.
Why didn't the koala make the finals? It got diskoalafied.
Q. Why did sally get beat up? A. She couldn’t fight back.
Jace: ha ha i won dude you suck at monopoly Timmy:Let's play another game *GUNSHOT* Ig i won! Jace:*SCREAMS IN PAIN* Timmy: What? I thought we were playing chutes and ladders!
Did you hear about the Boston marathon cause well I heard it was a blast and that it blew everyone away
Bend over and spell run.
If, Joey Deacon made his own company, it would be called The Joey Deacon Company; Walt Disney should have a run for its money. P.S.. The Joey Deacon Pictures logo would have some autistic people making noises to 'When You Wish Upon A Window', with the castle being the Blue Peter ship, instead.
And the Lord said onto John, "Come forth to receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.
Rock, paper, lesbians.