Comparison jokes
What does Madeleine McCann and my old Xbox have in common?
They both died with red rings.
Yo forehead is so freaking big, but not bigger than my BBC. 😏
AOT > ur fav anime.
What do apples and depressed kids have in common?
They both hang on trees.
What is the difference between a wagon filled with sand and a wagon filled with newborns?
You cannot unload the sand with a pitchfork.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a plank of wood?
A plank of wood can take nails to the extremities without screaming.
What's the difference between drugs and children? I don't sell drugs.
What hits the ground first, the feather or the emo?
The feather, because the emo is hung in the tree.
Girls are just like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.
My jokes are like kids with cancer; they never get old.
73 Earths can fit in Uranus.
What does a pickle look like a p*nis?
Women are like the Twin Towers. After you smash them, and if some little people start jumping out, the government is gonna tax the shit outta you.
Sometimes when I think I'm ugly, I just think of my sister and it makes me feel better.
What's the difference between a woman and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I give a fuck when my computer crashes.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples are actually picked.
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
You can't use a pitchfork to get the bowling ball out of the truck.
Your forehead is so big, Mastermind got jealous.
You call me ugly, but maybe that is why we look alike.