Comparison jokes
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
Yo, your hairline so messed up God said your hairline on the cross getting hit on that cross.
What’s the difference between Hitler and Steven Hawking?
Nothing, they're both dead, one painted the walls and the other committed suicide by pressing ALT + F4.
Your teeth are so yellow, when you smile, you put the sun out of business.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I thought Shrek was ugly, until I saw you.
What’s a zebra? A few sizes bigger than an A.
Roses are red,
My nuts are bigger than your small balls, that's why I get all the bitches.
The only thing colder than Siberia is my girlfriend's ex!
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.
Personally, I think putting beans on toast is better than bullets in children.
Your hairline is so big, Niagara Falls said, "Oh, looks like we've got some competition!"
What's the difference between an emo and a banana?
They both hang like apples.
What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla? One of them is fat and hairy, while the other one has a functional brain (the gorilla, of course).
I swear, if I compared the size of your mother and multiplied it by the time your dad was gone, it wouldn't even be close to your hairline.
Blood may be thicker than water, but yo mama is thicker than anything!
Why are emos jealous of light?
The lights are hanging.
Your mama's so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it said, "To be continued."
My boner had better structural support than the Twin Towers.
Never compare an orphan to an Apple because the Apple always gets picked.
Your hairline is so far back my grandpa saw it before you!