Is it still stand up comedy if the comedian doesn’t have legs
what do you call a kid in a wheelchair
TIMMAHHHH
A homeless man sits in front of a home Depot, a man walking out of the store hands him some money and asks "Why are you in front of the home Depot?" And the man says "Isn't it obvious? Hoping somebody accidentally drops the house they just bought."
We see the movie Aladdin, and Abu steals more than Aladdin, I’m surprised that Abu hasn’t got killed yet.
what's worse than a baby in a trash can? a baby in two trash cans.
you so fat
when you stepped on the scale
Buzz Lightyear came out and said
“to INFINITY and beyond”
What's an indians favorite store?
Red dot
I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and i asked him "why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics and building supplies in your basement?"
He responded with "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time i perform people tell me I need new material."
Me : “You guys wanna know a cool fact?” Friend 1 : “Yeah” Friend 2 : “Yea” Me : “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.” Friend 3 : “I love anime.” Friend 1 & 2 : “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Me : *Laughs at Friend 3*
Everyone tells me I need to stop making prostitute jokes. I guess they're whoreibble
Your mum is so due on eBay for £2 so she could get a male stripper
Why don't parylized people kaugh they hate stand up comedy
I miss the good old days when you could have a light joke at someone else's expense. Like doing that marital rape thing, it never used to be called that. It used to be called 'serving your husband" or "wifely duties". The real joke is that it was legal until 1990.
Why is that a joke?
Because it is piss funny seeing the look on her face when she wakes up in the middle of coitus.
Why is that a joke?
Dude come on you want to start your day off happy or not?
Why is that a joke?
She literally looks like she just seen a ghost and sort of flops about trying to fend you off like a rag doll. It's piss funny.
No seriously dude, why is that a joke? It sounds more like a felony.
My friend and I were joking about a wheelchair kid and another kid came up and said to the wheel chair kid you should stand up for your self
My friend looks more red than Mr. Krabs.
It’s weird, I could’ve sworn I saw the silluoette of a belt hurling towards him the other day.
what do u say to a girl with two black eyes nothing you told her twice
If I had a spray can, I would spray it on your ass. Because the instructions say to spray on flat surfaces.
I'd make a joke about the chin bones, but yall couldnt mandle it
Your hair is receding more than people do when they smell you.
