Collision jokes
I got in a car crash with a dwarf one day. He came storming out, and glared at me. I lowered my window and called out, "So, I'm guessing you're not happy?"
Today was the worst day ever. My ex got hit by a truck... On the plus side, my truck doesn't even have a dent.
I walked up to a man, and he said, "How's the weather up there?" and then I pushed him into the street to get hit by a bus.
I crashed into those motherfuckers! 😂😂😂
There was a car accident, and the cops pull up to the crime scene to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said, "What happened here?" She responded by saying, "A car crash." They then asked, "But how did it happen?" She responded, "The cars crashed into each other." They finally said, "But why did it happen?" The lady said, "Oh, I know where you're going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas pedal, the car goes forward, and they both pushed it, so they both went forward and hit each other." One cop said, "Never mind, ma'am," and they started walking away.
The blonde lady then said, "Oh, and officers, my computer froze. Do you think I should put it in the microwave or in the oven?"
A Mexican runs into a wall, what hits first?
His lawnmower.
A wild Iceberg appears! Titanic uses ram! It is not very effective. (Titanic sinks.)
Q: What did the Iceberg say to the Titanic?
A: I'd hit that.
When fat people smash, it must feel like a huge submarine hitting you.
You wanna know why the Titanic was split in half? The iceberg hit it from the front and back.
What is the last thing that goes through a fly's head when it hits the windshield?
Its butt.
How do you think the unthinkable? With an iceberg.
When two wheelchairs hit each other, is it a fender bender?
What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam.
What did the other fish say to that fish when he hit the wall? Dumb Bass.
Three blondes were walking on a path. The first blonde said, “Hey, look, there are deer tracks!” The second blonde said, “No way, those are totally duck tracks.” The third blonde said, “Nuh uh, those are...” Then they got hit by a train.
What's the definition of disappointment?
Running into a wall with a boner, but it only hits your nose.
A man walks into a bar.
Ouch!
Three men walk into a bar. You would think the 3rd one would have ducked! 😅
A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.
Helen Keller walked into a bar, and a chair, and a table, and a wall.