How does Moses make his coffee?
Hebrews it.
Why did the coffee file a police report? -- Because it was mugged.
How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank his coffee before it was cool.
Chuck Norris orders his coffee black, without water.
What's black and never works?
Decaffeinated coffee, you racist bastard.
What is the second hardest thing in the morning?
Getting up.
