Police Report jokes

Why did the coffee file a police report? -- Because it was mugged.

Police Report: Looking for a female, light brown hair, blue eyes, freckles, and a small scar on her right check.

Last seen on CCTV wearing see-through bottoms, a pink top, and a vibrating dildo hanging out of her arse. If you find this woman, please get her to charge the dildo for excessive fun.

According to the Police report, what did one traffic signal say to the other?

"Roxanne, you don't have to put on the red light..."

I wasn't planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.

A man gets kicked out of police camp after writing "Who's that Pokémon?" next to all of the chalk outlines.

Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says, "Wow, that's got to be the fastest we've ever gotten to an accident site."

I saw two men wearing the same clothing and walking together, so I asked both of them if they were gay. They did not hesitate arresting me after I said that.