Clergy jokes
When the orphan got a job as a priest, what was his name?
Father Les.
What's the most fun a monk can have?
Nun.
What goes black, white, black, white, down a hill?
A fat nun.
Priest
Johnny is walking along, and a priest is coming the other way. Johnny says, "Hey, mister, why are you wearing your collar backwards?"
The priest says, "Because I'm a father."
Johnny says, "Yeah? Well, my old man's got three kids, and he don't wear his collar backwards."
The priest says, "You don't understand, son. I have thousands of children."
Johnny says, "You should wear your fuckin' trousers backwards."
How much pussy does a priest get? None.
"Spray and pray," also known as a priest with an altar boy.
What’s the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and a priest?
They both like lil' boys.
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"
A policeman walks up to a van with two priests and says, "We're looking for two child molesters."
The priests both look at each other for a moment and then say, "Okay, we'll do it."
How come I have a father but not a dad?
He was a priest.
Why did the orphans like church so much?
So they had someone to call father...
Two priests are in a bar. One says to the other priest, "I'll swap you two fives for a ten."
Why do priests perform baptisms? So they can see children wet.
if priests were on Twitter, they would tweet, "He's a 10 but he's 10."
What's a priest's favorite toy?
A mute little boy.
What kind of sex do priests love?.
Nun.
How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? A roamin' Catholic.
A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."