Clergy

Clergy Jokes

Nun

What goes black, white, black, white, down a hill?

A fat nun.

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  • Priest

    Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"

    Priest

    A policeman walks up to a van with two priests and says, "We're looking for two child molesters."

    The priests both look at each other for a moment and then say, "Okay, we'll do it."

    Priest

    What’s the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and a priest?

    They both like lil' boys.

    Priest

    Johnny is walking along, and a priest is coming the other way. Johnny says, "Hey, mister, why are you wearing your collar backwards?"

    The priest says, "Because I'm a father."

    Johnny says, "Yeah? Well, my old man's got three kids, and he don't wear his collar backwards."

    The priest says, "You don't understand, son. I have thousands of children."

    Johnny says, "You should wear your fuckin' trousers backwards."

    Orphan

    Why did the orphans like church so much?

    So they had someone to call father...

    Priest

    Two priests are in a bar. One says to the other priest, "I'll swap you two fives for a ten."

    Priest

    if priests were on Twitter, they would tweet, "He's a 10 but he's 10."

    Priest

    A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."

    Nun

    What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? A roamin' Catholic.