What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? A roamin' Catholic.
A policeman walks up to a van with two priests and says, "We're looking for two child molesters."
The priests both look at each other for a moment and then say, "Okay, we'll do it."
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"
How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.
I recently learned that churches won’t let trans men become priests because they don’t consider trans men as men, which is rather confusing to me.
As a Jew, I don’t know very much about Christianity, but from what I’ve heard, don’t priests love little boys?
Why was baptism invented?
How else was a priest supposed to clean his sex toys?
Person: "How many people have you had intercourse with?"
Me: "Nun."
This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"
God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."
When the orphan got a job as a priest, what was his name?
Father Les.
"Spray and pray," also known as a priest with an altar boy.
What's a priest's favorite toy?
A mute little boy.
A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."
Why did Michael Jackson like having little boys round him? He was studying for the priesthood.
What is a similarity between priests and doctors?
They both have fetishes for their professions.
What’s the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and a priest?
They both like lil' boys.
Now I know what my priest meant by the second coming!
Why do priests perform baptisms? So they can see children wet.
A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions and promotion.
"What do you have to look forward to in way of a promotion in your job?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, I'm next in line for the Monsignor's job," replied the Priest.
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, next I can become Bishop," said the Priest.
"Yes, and then?" asked the Rabbi.
"If I work real hard and do a good job as Bishop, it's possible for me to become an Archbishop," said the Priest.
"O.K., then what?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest, beginning to get a bit exasperated, replied, "With some luck and real hard work, maybe I can become a Cardinal."
"And then?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest is really starting to get mad now and replies, "With lots and lots of luck and some real difficult work and if I'm in the right places at the right times and play my political games just right, maybe, just maybe, I can get elected Pope."
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Good grief!" shouted the Priest. "What do you expect me to become, GOD?"
"Well," said the Rabbi, "One of our boys made it!"
if priests were on Twitter, they would tweet, "He's a 10 but he's 10."
What do you call an orphan who grows up to become a priest?
Father les.
