Clergy

Clergy jokes

Priest

    • Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"

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    • Priest

    • What's the difference between a rabbi and a priest? One cuts them off and one sucks them off.

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    • Nun

    • A monk asks the priest if it's okay to kiss a nun.

    The priest replies, "Just as long as you don't get in the habit!"

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    • Hell

    • This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"

    God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."

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    • Priest

    • A policeman walks up to a van with two priests and says, "We're looking for two child molesters."

    The priests both look at each other for a moment and then say, "Okay, we'll do it."

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    • Priest

    • What do McDonalds and priests both do?

    They both put their meat between 10-year-old buns.

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    • Priest

    • I recently learned that churches won’t let trans men become priests because they don’t consider trans men as men, which is rather confusing to me.

    As a Jew, I don’t know very much about Christianity, but from what I’ve heard, don’t priests love little boys?

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    • Priest

    • There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.

    The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"

    The teacher said, "What about the kids?"

    The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."

    The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"

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    • Bartender

    • A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.

    The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this – a joke?”

    Priest

    • Q: What's the difference between me and a priest? A: A priest isn't turned on by dead children.

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