Clergy

Clergy jokes

Priest

How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.

Priest

There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.

The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"

The teacher said, "What about the kids?"

The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."

The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"

Bartender

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.

The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this – a joke?”

Priest

Q: What's the difference between me and a priest? A: A priest isn't turned on by dead children.

  • 4
  • Priest

    What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?

    Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.

    Priest

    Do you know where priests go at night?

    To all night sale at Boys R Us.

    Orphan

    What do you call an orphan who grows up to become a priest?

    Father Les.

    Priest

    The first priest asks the second, "How long do we keep the babies in the holy water?" The priest replies, "No clue... I close my eyes when I masturbate!"

  • 0
  • Nun

    A monk asks the priest if it's okay to kiss a nun.

    The priest replies, "Just as long as you don't get in the habit!"

  • 0
  • Fetish

    What is a similarity between priests and doctors?

    They both have fetishes for their professions.

    Priest

    How did the priest know the nun was on her period? He tasted blood on the altar boy's cock.

    Priest

    I recently learned that churches won’t let trans men become priests because they don’t consider trans men as men, which is rather confusing to me.

    As a Jew, I don’t know very much about Christianity, but from what I’ve heard, don’t priests love little boys?

    Priest

    What do a priest and Christmas tree lights have in common?

    They can both flash.

    Priest

    What happens when you throw an underage boy between two Catholic priests?

    They fight and... You know the rest.

  • 2
  • Nun

    Why is a nun called a nun?

    'Cause they ain't supposed to get none ;)

  • 0
  • Nun

    Person: "How many people have you had intercourse with?"

    Me: "Nun."