Clergy Jokes

How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.

The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this – a joke?”

Q: What's the difference between me and a priest? A: A priest isn't turned on by dead children.

Do you know where priests go at night?

To all night sale at Boys R Us.

What do you call an orphan who grows up to become a priest?

Father Les.

The first priest asks the second, "How long do we keep the babies in the holy water?" The priest replies, "No clue... I close my eyes when I masturbate!"

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Fuck her hahaha 🤣

A monk asks the priest if it's okay to kiss a nun.

The priest replies, "Just as long as you don't get in the habit!"

What is a similarity between priests and doctors?

They both have fetishes for their professions.

Now I know what my priest meant by the second coming!

How did the priest know the nun was on her period? He tasted blood on the altar boy's cock.

I recently learned that churches won’t let trans men become priests because they don’t consider trans men as men, which is rather confusing to me.

As a Jew, I don’t know very much about Christianity, but from what I’ve heard, don’t priests love little boys?

What do a priest and Christmas tree lights have in common?

They can both flash.

What happens when you throw an underage boy between two Catholic priests?

They fight and... You know the rest.

Why is a nun called a nun?

'Cause they ain't supposed to get none ;)

What did the 3-year-old boy say to the priest?

"My bum hurts."

What do you call a priest that is a furry?

A Catholic.

Person: "How many people have you had intercourse with?"

Me: "Nun."

This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"

God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."