Clergy jokes
Why are priests called father? Because it's too suspicious to call them daddy.
A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church, and the priest says, "What about the children?" The rabbi says, "Fuck the children." And the priest says, "Do you think we'll have time?"
What do Catholic priests and JCPenny's have in common?
Little boys' pants half off.
What is a priest's favorite song?
-- Magic Flute in A minor.
What did the choir boy sing to the priest? Nothing, his mouth was full.
Why do priests like kids in wheelchairs? Because they can’t run.
What's the difference between a Catholic Priest and a pedophile?
One is Catholic.
What's the difference between a silver medal and a priest?
They both came in a little behind.
What's the difference between a rabbi and a priest? One cuts them off and one sucks them off.
The worst part about church is that you're constantly switching between sitting, standing, and kneeling. I mean, why can't the priest just pick a position and f**k me already!
What is a reverse exorcism? It is when the Devil tries to pull a priest out of a child.
Girl: Daddy, I've been a bad girl.
Priest: For the last time, it's "Father, I have sinned."
What do you call a Catholic priest who molests children?
A Catholic priest.
What do you call a sex offender attending church? A priest.
Why did Michael Jackson like having little boys round him? He was studying for the priesthood.
What does a priest hold on to when having sex?
He holds on to the schoolbag.
What do you call an orphan who grows up and becomes a priest?
Father Les.
Why was baptism invented?
How else was a priest supposed to clean his sex toys?
A wise man once said, "don't think young, think tight." He was a priest.
What's the difference between a priest and a rabbi? The rabbi cuts it off, and the priest sucks it off.