Classroom jokes

When the quiet kid gets angry and the sped kid sees your hiding spot.

Bing, bang, boom!

The teacher called Little Johnny to her desk. She said: “This essay you’ve written about your pet dog is exactly the same essay your brother has written.”

“Of course it is,” said Johnny. “It’s the same dog.”

Why can't an orphan go to school? He needs a parent admission form to get in.

I teach orphans.

But the problem is I can't give them homework.

Why are there 30 bullets in one clip?

Because that's the average classroom size.

Why do special ed classes have fans?

To keep the vegetables nice and fresh.

So, one day a teacher asked, "How many of you have thought of committing suicide?" Half of the class raised their hand, but the teacher said, "Where are Jesse and John?"

I got in trouble at school today because I told the teacher at school with COVID to stay positive.

What happened when the teacher tied all the students' shoe laces together?

They took a class trip.

An orphan entered the high school for the first time. He has no knowledge of the school. He went to the secretary and asked where he shall go. The secretary then gave the orphan a schedule and said to the orphan, “Where is homeroom?” The secretary then asked which homeroom number he was assigned, and he said "1." The orphan then started to weep and said that his parents died right as he stole his first base in baseball.

What type of teacher doesn't fart in public?

A private tutor/tooter.

Teacher: Alright kids. 50, 49, 48, 47. What comes before 47?

Kid: AK!

Everyone else: 🚪 🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿‍♀️ 🎒 🏃🏻

Why did the orphan cry when the teacher yelled at him?

Because the teacher said, "Don't make me call your parents!"

What's the worst place to teach an orphan? Homeschool.

What’s the only other advantage of being an orphan?

The teacher can’t give you homework.

I was struggling on a math test when a girl in a wheelchair leaned over and said, "Hey, this is the easiest thing I've done all day."

I was triggered, so the next day when we were doing the pledge, I leaned over and said, "This is the easiest thing I've done all day!"

Someone at my school the other day said that whoever killed Hitler was a hero. Who's going to tell him?

Who's a pineapple? I'm a pineapple... Yass.

Teacher and kid.

Kid: Hey, teacher.

Teacher: Yes?

Kid: Would you punish me for something I didn't do?

Teacher: Of course not.

Kid: Well, I didn't do my homework!

Little Johnny was overheard by his mother reciting his homework, “Two plus two, the son of a b*tch is four; four plus four, the son of a b*tch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a b*tch...;” “Johnny!” shouted his mother. “Stop swearing!” “But mom!” Little Johnny protested, “That’s what the teacher taught us! And she said we should recite it till we learned it!”

The next day his mother went to the teacher to complain. “No, no,” said the teacher, terrified. “That’s not what I taught them. They’re supposed to say: ‘Two plus two, the sum of which is four.’”

When you get caught about to shoot up the school,

*slowly puts AR to chin*