One day, a priest loses his cock (chicken). He goes to the church and says, "Who has seen a cock?" All the women raised their hands. "No, who has seen a cock that is not theirs?" Half the women's hands went up. "No, no, no, who has seen my cock?" All the nuns' hands went up.
Church Jokes
A priest walked in and said to the kids,
"Hey kids, are you ready for your faptism?"
Have you heard of the new sequel to "The Exorcist"?
A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son.
A priest walks into a bar, immediately orders the kids' menu.
Do you know what a reverse exorcism is?
It's when the devil tells the priest to get out of the child.
So I went to a church the other day and I asked my friend, "Is that painting of Jesus and is it through the wall with one with three nails?" Oh wait, I wasn’t even Jesus, he’s not doing the T post that he invented.
Why did the priest want to learn how to play the organ?
He wanted to be able to finger A minor.
What’s the difference between a priest and target?
Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.
What do an Olympic silver medalist and a Catholic priest have in common?
A: They both come in a little behind.
If a priest listens to sad music in his church, he really enjoys being deep in minor.
Yo momma so ugly, the Devil started going to church!
A man runs into a church and shouts, "Are there any dwarf nuns in the monastery?" The Pope said no, causing the man to say to his friend, "I told you you fucked a penguin!"
Yo mama so ugly, when she go to church they say it's a demon!
What does a child molester and a Catholic priest have in common? They both prey at church.
Why don't churches have Wi-Fi? Because they can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
Why do orphans love church?
They finally have a father.
Do you know how many women have been pope?
Nun.
Jesus told the world if he had to pick a body all over again that he would pick himself! He believes he is (God's gift to this earth) the best looking, the smartest, pure perfection!
Hahaha LOL Jajaj.
And I Quote! "THAT'S WHY I PUT MYSELF NAKED ON THE CROSS IN CHURCHES TO SEE MY BODY !!!!"
GROSSEST, SCAREST, UGLIST, SLOPPY, DISRESPECTFUL, DISGUSTING, IT.
If he actually ate the bullshit that came out of his mouth, He wouldn't have made up satan! He wouldn't Rape us, He wouldn't embody us! He wouldn't try to be us! USING OUF VOICES! USING OUR SPIRIT!
Ok, here's a story about the church.
There were two parents, then they had a baby. Then they go to the church and the baby was getting a cross on his forehead. Guess he was big headed. Sorry if this offends anyone or makes this joke bad since I keep writing this.
Three nuns are having a charity in front of the church.
A man in a trench coat walks up and flashes the three nuns. The first nun had a stroke, the second nun had a stroke, but the third nun, her arm was too short.
