Church jokes
Why do Priests like playing the violin? They get to finger A minor.
What's Christian and holey?
JFK.
Why is the Catholic church in favor of condoms now?
It's now getting harder to hide DNA evidence.
One day, a priest loses his cock (chicken). He goes to the church and says, "Who has seen a cock?" All the women raised their hands. "No, who has seen a cock that is not theirs?" Half the women's hands went up. "No, no, no, who has seen my cock?" All the nuns' hands went up.
A priest walked in and said to the kids,
"Hey kids, are you ready for your faptism?"
Have you heard of the new sequel to "The Exorcist"?
A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son.
A priest walks into a bar, immediately orders the kids' menu.
Do you know what a reverse exorcism is?
It's when the devil tells the priest to get out of the child.
So I went to a church the other day and I asked my friend, "Is that painting of Jesus and is it through the wall with one with three nails?" Oh wait, I wasn’t even Jesus, he’s not doing the T post that he invented.
Why did the priest want to learn how to play the organ?
He wanted to be able to finger A minor.
What’s the difference between a priest and target?
Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.
What do an Olympic silver medalist and a Catholic priest have in common?
A: They both come in a little behind.
If a priest listens to sad music in his church, he really enjoys being deep in minor.
Yo momma so ugly, the Devil started going to church!
A man runs into a church and shouts, "Are there any dwarf nuns in the monastery?" The Pope said no, causing the man to say to his friend, "I told you you fucked a penguin!"
Yo mama so ugly, when she go to church they say it's a demon!
What does a child molester and a Catholic priest have in common? They both prey at church.
Why don't churches have Wi-Fi? Because they can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
Why do orphans love church?
They finally have a father.
Do you know how many women have been pope?
Nun.