Choose Jokes

Women should have the right to choose whether they want to do cooking or cleaning first.

A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died. When she met God she asked Him how come you didnt answer my prayers? God replied 'i did, i kept sending men to rape you but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion'

Grandma isn’t responding. Close app, wait, cancel.

Which do you choose?

Life asked death "why do people choose you over me?" death replied "because your the beautiful lie and i'm the painful truth."

Whats the best thing about been a pedophile? You can choose the fit profession where you find kids most

If I was an object in this world I'd be a glass! Because if you leave me when I'm too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break.

If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.

I'm a star! Because one of these days I'm going to crash and burn...

If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I'd be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.

I'm like the sun; I'm painful to look at.

If I was a food I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.

I'm like an eggshell... broken and empty.

If I was a mythical creature I'd be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.

I'm like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.

My soul is a raisin because it's dried up shriveled, and not everyone likes it.

I'm like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.

I'm like the moon because as the month progresses my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.

I'm like an Ex streamly powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.

I'm like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.

I'm like a shity book cover... because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.

My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can't afford to go through with the divorce and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape but the more they try the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety

Help me....

Hi guys! Ello here! So I am determined to get as many people as possible to like my jokes nad comment. So, without further ado, here goes nothing! So I have been looking at all your jokes. And UHHHHHH has not been the nicest.... I don't really love the words she is choosing. But I'm not going to let her get in my head :) So guys make sure that you like and comment! Love y'all!!!!! :D

What's different between an apple and a orphan? Apples get picked.

What is the difference between an orphan and Pokemon? People choose Pokemon instead

What does Pikachu and a orphan have in common? Pikachu, I choose you!

My friend said which is better to have and you have to choose and he said Autism or down syndrome?

What’s the similarities between an American teen and a old Muslim man? They both choose who they want.

"what do you want to eat" "You choose" "Children" "What?" *Picks up pot* "You said anything"

A man is dating three women and has to choose which one he'll marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money. The first woman does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits to look sexy for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed. The second woman goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed. The third woman invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed. The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money,.....Then he married the one with the biggest breasts.

Joshua White loves blue, A simple truth, tried and true. In his pocket, only six, Yet each penny a valued fix.

With eyes that seek the azure skies, He dreams of places that mesmerize. A palette of blues, a symphony of hues, Whispering secrets only he can choose.

His heart beats to the rhythm of the sea, Where waves crash, wild and free. In sandy shores, he finds solace rare, A momentary escape from life's daily wear.

In cerulean fields, flowers dance, Their vibrant petals, a timeless romance. He wanders through meadows, devoid of strife, Seeking solace in nature's vibrant life.

Joshua White, a soul of gentle grace, Embracing the world at his own pace. Though his pockets hold a mere six, His spirit soars, never to be fixed.

For in the depths of his azure dreams, The richness of life's tapestry gleams. And with every breath, he finds anew, That love is boundless, ever true.