Worst Jokes Ever

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Heroin Monkey

The image shows the text 'Live a healthy lifestyle. Choose drinks with minimal amounts of sugar...', followed by a line of several bottles of drinks, from left to right: Coca Cola, Red Bull, Ribena, Fanta, Sprite, Oasis and a bottle of Jack Daniel's. Under each bottle of soda is a small pile of white sugar cubes, and the pile under Jack Daniel's is zero. The bottles of soda have the labels 'Rib', 'SISP' on them. The Jack Daniel's bottle has the label 'JACK DANIEL'S No. 7 Tennessee WHISKEY' on it. There is also the text 'NEXT LEVEL BARTENDING WE SET THE BAR HIGH' in the lower left part of the image.

Daddy dick

HARHARHAR

A picture shows Grogu, also known as baby Yoda, sleeping peacefully in a hammock. The text reads: "Me after watching 10 minutes of something on Netflix that took me an hour to choose."

Anonymous

What's your size?

The image is a two-panel meme. The top panel shows text about NASA relabeling the penis sleeve in spacesuits, and a picture of what it looks like. The bottom panel shows a face looking at a knob labeled "PP SIZE" with options "Small", "Medium", and "Large".

Heroin Monkey

A meme displaying five different options labeled A through E of items that can be chosen as a loadout. The text says, "You're being hunted in the woods at night by an unknown cryptid. Choose your loadout." Option A shows an assault rifle, body armor, a knife, and a pistol. Option B shows 5 silhouettes of men and weapons like torches, pitchforks and a baseball bat. Option C shows two priests, a cross, holy water and two lanterns. Option D shows three dogs, a gun, a bracelet, and a flashlight. Option E shows a muscular man, viagra, alcohol, and other random items.

Erichh

heh

A meme showing Neo from "The Matrix" in three panels. In the first panel, a stack of papers says "Choose the correct answer." The second panel shows Neo looking unimpressed, saying, "You can't scare me with thi-". In the third panel, the stack of papers says "And explain why.", which makes Neo look panicked.

Anonymous

Pika! Pika! I CHOOSE YOU!!!

The image is a two-panel cartoon. In the first panel, hands are poking the cheeks of a smiling Pikachu. The second panel shows a man with blond hair and a bloody nose, getting punched in the face by a woman wearing a yellow Pikachu shirt.

Your local comrade

The talk

A comic strip with three panels. In the first panel, a pink figure asks a taller blue figure, "Dad! Am I adopted?" In the second panel, the blue figure replies, "Of course not!" In the third panel, the blue figure says, "Why would I ever choose you?"

《 rmk 》

america or australia? you choose its fate aka jail or no

A black snake with a gun-shaped midsection is lying on a dry ground with some plants.

𝓼𝓸𝓷 𝓰𝓸𝓴𝓾

A light gray cat with a furrowed brow looks at a "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" style question. The question reads: "If you choose an answer to this question at random, what is the chance that you will be correct?" The possible answers are: A: 25%, B: 0%, C: 50%, D: 25%.

Kayla

That me

A young woman with a slightly downturned mouth and a sad expression looks directly at the camera. She has dark hair, is wearing a dark hoodie with a large print on it, and is wearing headphones. The background is a classroom setting with pictures on the wall. A picture of a family is visible.

Heroin Monkey

The image presents a comparison between a "Girlfriend" and a "Leopard 2 A7 Tank". The "Girlfriend" side lists negatives such as "Can't fire missiles", "Never protects you", "Minds if you roam with other girls", and "Breaks up with you". The "Leopard 2 A7 Tank" side lists positives like "Can fire missiles", "Has a bulletproof outer shell", "Doesn't mind if you use other tanks", and "Virtually impossible to break."

Chri5

He's like gigachad but skipped neck day

A shirtless man with visible abs is taking a selfie in a mirror. The text on top of the image says, "They made me choose between abs and a neck."

Evil Duck Lords Of America

Probably the quack troop for me bc I will have the numbers say what you would choose in the comments

The image shows four panels with different ducks. The first panel features a duck with a stern look called "Dug." The second panel has a white duck called "Polar Duck." The third panel shows three ducks in trench coats and hats called "The Quack Troop." The last panel is a close-up of a duck's head called "Big Quack." Above the panels, it says, "One will protect you, the rest will attack you, choose wisely."

⭐️🌙✨SUNNA AHMAD✨🌙⭐️

Who would you choose?

The image shows Bart Simpson with an intense expression. The text on the image reads: "LIKE THE BOOGEYMAN, OR MICHAEL JACKSON."

✨Jassy✨

My mom during movie night after she said "i'm not gonna fall asleep"

The image shows a sleeping Baby Yoda nestled in a hammock. The text on the image says: "Me after watching 10 minutes of something on Netflix that took me an hour to choose."

TechPriestGotDrip

A side-by-side comparison of a girlfriend and a Keetongu figure, listing their attributes in table form. The girlfriend is described as being pretty but not always, knows makeup, will choose a bad boy, can break your heart, forces you to choose between her and friend, and is a weak fighter that needs protection. Keetongu is described as beautiful, with a symmetric shape, knows every kind of poison, will distinguish good and evil, will always protect with an absorbing shield, will help you save your friend, and can crush Sidorak with his bare hands.

Lil’ bro

The image shows a collage of four disgusting food items from the cartoon Spongebob Squarepants, with the text "You lost a dare, and now you have to eat one of these 4 foods, which one are you choosing?"

big [fire] balls

The image shows a two-panel cartoon. In the first panel, a platypus sits on a grassy hill looking at a blue sky with a yellow sun and birds flying above. The text says, "PLATYPUSES CAN TOTALLY FLY." The second panel shows a closeup of the same platypus who has a sly look on his face and is raising one of his forelimbs. The text says, "THEY JUST CHOOSE NOT TO." There is also a text line saying "(C) ALLIE MANYDEEDS 2016".

Heroin Monkey

A character that looks like Vegeta from Dragonball Z wearing a suit and glasses is reading a book. Above him is the text: "Me looking at bro after choosing him to read page 174 of To Kill a Mockingbird." Behind him, there's a bookshelf with a sign that says "Silence" on it.

shaylie lol

A close-up of a chihuahua with a flirty expression. The text overlay reads: "*2 mins after being kidnapped* me: *blushing* So what made y'all choose me?"

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