Childhood jokes
Why can orphans play baseball?
They can’t find home plate.
One day, Little Johnny needs to use the bathroom. His mom is in there, so he went in to use it and asked his mom, "What is that between your legs?"
His mom told him that is her bush. Then the next day the same thing happened, but with his dad. He asked his dad, "What is that between his legs?" He said, "My snake."
The same thing happened one more time, except with his grandmother. Little Johnny asked grandma what is on her chest. She said, "My headlights."
One night, Little Johnny caught his parents doing something naughty. Then he said, "Grandma, grandma, turn on your headlights! Daddy's snake is trying to get into mommy's bush!"
Why do orphans hate the color black? Because it reminds them of their dark history.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because there would be no home base.
Why do orphans drink water with cereal?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Dad and Mom: -takes one look at Child-
Dad and Mom: "We don't want him."
Orphan: And I took that, personally.
Stop with dumb orphan jokes, you dumb ass people!!!!!!!!!!
They're not funny one bit, so stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
I was laughing my ass off when the 12-year-old child realized the door to my basement was unlocked, and he didn't need to cannibalize his two friends in a desperate attempt for survival. 🤣🤣🤣
I saw an orphan fall in the street crying, so I ran up to him and said, "Are you okay? Where are your parents?"
I kept asking these kids where their parents are, and they started crying. I walked away laughing, thinking I love my job at an orphanage.
A kindergarten teacher is chatting with little John. The teacher asks John, "John, can you get me some pencils?" John replies, "Sure, I'll do it!" and accidentally knocks over a vase.
The teacher says, "Oh, John!"
John asks, "What does that mean?" The teacher replies, "It's kind of a synonym for 'You loser!'"
Silence is golden. Unless you have kids, then silence is suspicious.
What do orphans like about tattoos? They stick around.
What is an orphan's favorite joke?
"Yo mama" jokes.
Little Johnny wanted a lolly, so his dada gave him dick.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
Why are orphans bad at baseball? Because they can't go home.
What was the drug addict's favorite nursery rhyme?
I'm a little crack pot short and stout, put that crack pipe in my mouth, sell my body or sell my couch, get that lighter and smoke me out!
Why can orphans only use Samsung?
Because they don't have a home button.