Childhood jokes
Why was the orphan's first phone an iPhone X? Because it didn't have a home button.
Kid at school tells an orphan, "I fucked your mom."
Orphan: "What's a mom?"
Orphans have no parents.
One day, an orphan threw a boomerang, and it didn’t come back like its parents.
Why can't an orphan go to McDonald's? There's no point in the words "happy meal."
Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they actually come back.
What time is it when you walk out to the school?
Time to go to school!
What is a playground that is old?
A rotten playground.
Why are orphans bad at baseball? Because they can't go home.
What do you do when you see a sad orphan?
Nothing, let them wait for their parents.
Why did the orphan not play baseball? Because he couldn't find home.
"Mommy, mommy, where's my school dress... ewww!"
"Shut up and leave the bedroom."
Son: Dad, am I adopted?
Father: What? No! Out of all the kids in the adoption center, do you really think I would pick you?
"Grandma, tell me a story!" I said as we huddled near the campfire.
"Alright," she said, "Once, there was a tree named Timmy, he was my best tree friend. I used to read books under him and climb all his branches."
"Where is Timmy now?" I asked.
Grandma pointed to the campfire.
What do you call a grown-up orphan? Homeless.
When I was in 4th grade, we wrote letters to kids in the hospital. I wrote: "It is a bumpy road but soon it will be a straight path." Not many people know I was talking about their heart monitor.
A neighbor went up to me and asked me where my parents were. When I said, "In the bed," my neighbor said, "Oooooohh, how long is the penis?" I said, "Wait here," and I interrupted my parents while they were doing some "business" and asked my dad the exact question he said. Then he spanked me.
If your parents ever accuse you of lying... Say, "You're the one who told me about Santa Claus!"
Samuel liked Batman when he was a kid.
He still is a kid.
Mother, “Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, you’ll get kids who will be very naughty to you!”
Johnny, “Oh mom, you just betrayed yourself there, didn’t you?”