How do you stop a baby from crying?
Throw a brick in its mouth.
How do you stop a baby from drowning?
Take your foot off its head.
What do you call a baby in the shower? A baby in the shower.
I found a place before called an orphanage, but when I was allowed in there were lots of kids, and I said, "Where's your parents? Oh yeah, you're orphans." Gosh, that was one heck of a day!
Why can't orphans go on vacation?
The last time they did, they fell in the toilet and had no one to help them out. Ugh!
Ah, son of a bitch, I got the truth stuck on my shoe?!?!
The truth: Breast feeding is like having long sex with your baby. God dammit, I hate the truth!
How do you make a baby float?
You take your foot off its head.
How do people get skinny?
Their parents don't feed them. (JOKE)
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them. XD
