Childcare jokes
There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. I love working at an orphanage.
Orphans can get away with anything really bad at school, because they can't be sent home for it.
How do you get a baby to stop crawling in circles?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son. Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day. 馃槓
What鈥檚 the difference between a child who is home alone and an orphan?
They鈥檙e both alone, but only one is home.
Why didn't the orphan go to the orphanage?
He didn't understand having a home, even if it was temporary.
I shouted at a kid. I told him to get his parents.
It was the last time I worked at an orphanage, 馃ぃ.
I saw a girl crying. I asked her, "Where are your parents?" She cried as I got kicked out of the orphanage.
"Hi, this is Dave's orphanage鈥攜ou make it, we take it."
What school can鈥檛 orphans go to?
Home school.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
If a kid doesn't take their nap, doesn't that mean they are resisting arrest?
What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?
They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.
I saw a little boy playing alone in the street. I told him that was a bad idea, then asked for his parents.
God, orphanages are fun to work at!!
What happens to a baby when you let it run loose? It can't cause it can't run yet.
"Peado van, peado van, stay away, peado van, peado van, take her away."
I can't afford food, I can't afford childcare, might as well just get the money out of her.
Why can鈥檛 orphans win trophies?
Because they can鈥檛 take them home.
Q: What happens to KID who NAPs near a stranger?
A: He gets KID-NAPPED (kidnapped).
Mom: Kid, bring your toys and clothing to the car. We're going to Disney Land.
Kid: Ok.
*Bring kid to the orphanage*.
Well, I'm off to the orphanage to tell yo mama jokes.