Childcare jokes

Orphans can get away with anything really bad at school, because they can't be sent home for it.

How do you get a baby to stop crawling in circles?

You nail its other hand to the floor.

Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son. Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day. 😐

What’s the difference between a child who is home alone and an orphan?

They’re both alone, but only one is home.

"Hi, this is Dave's orphanage—you make it, we take it."

I shouted at a kid. I told him to get his parents.

It was the last time I worked at an orphanage, 🤣.

What school can’t orphans go to?

Home school.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

If a kid doesn't take their nap, doesn't that mean they are resisting arrest?

I saw a girl crying. I asked her, "Where are your parents?" She cried as I got kicked out of the orphanage.

Why didn't the orphan go to the orphanage?

He didn't understand having a home, even if it was temporary.

What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?

They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.

I saw a little boy playing alone in the street. I told him that was a bad idea, then asked for his parents.

God, orphanages are fun to work at!!

What happens to a baby when you let it run loose? It can't cause it can't run yet.

"Peado van, peado van, stay away, peado van, peado van, take her away."

I can't afford food, I can't afford childcare, might as well just get the money out of her.

Why can’t orphans win trophies?

Because they can’t take them home.

Mom: Kid, bring your toys and clothing to the car. We're going to Disney Land.

Kid: Ok.

*Bring kid to the orphanage*.

Q: What happens to KID who NAPs near a stranger?

A: He gets KID-NAPPED (kidnapped).

Well, I'm off to the orphanage to tell yo mama jokes.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? One of them gets picked.