Childcare jokes
There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. I love working at an orphanage.
Orphans can get away with anything really bad at school, because they can't be sent home for it.
How do you get a baby to stop crawling in circles?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son. Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day. 😐
What’s the difference between a child who is home alone and an orphan?
They’re both alone, but only one is home.
Why didn't the orphan go to the orphanage?
He didn't understand having a home, even if it was temporary.
I shouted at a kid. I told him to get his parents.
It was the last time I worked at an orphanage, 🤣.
"Hi, this is Dave's orphanage—you make it, we take it."
What school can’t orphans go to?
Home school.
I saw a girl crying. I asked her, "Where are your parents?" She cried as I got kicked out of the orphanage.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
If a kid doesn't take their nap, doesn't that mean they are resisting arrest?
What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?
They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.
I saw a little boy playing alone in the street. I told him that was a bad idea, then asked for his parents.
God, orphanages are fun to work at!!
What happens to a baby when you let it run loose? It can't cause it can't run yet.
"Peado van, peado van, stay away, peado van, peado van, take her away."
I can't afford food, I can't afford childcare, might as well just get the money out of her.
Why can’t orphans win trophies?
Because they can’t take them home.
Q: What happens to KID who NAPs near a stranger?
A: He gets KID-NAPPED (kidnapped).
Mom: Kid, bring your toys and clothing to the car. We're going to Disney Land.
Kid: Ok.
*Bring kid to the orphanage*.
Well, I'm off to the orphanage to tell yo mama jokes.