Have you ever heard of the stupid coyote. he got stuck in a trap chewed of three of his legs and was still stuck
what do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common. ones the pull it out everyone wants to be there friend.
How do you know if you have a high sperm count?? She chews before she swallows
what is sharks favourite day chewsday
A teacher is doing an experiment about taste. She tells each student to line up so she can give them each a lifesaver, so they can tell her what flavor it is. She gives Suzy a pineapple one. Suzy tries it, says the flavor, and then goes and sits back down. That is the same for everyone, then it is Jhonny's turn. The teacher hands him a honey flavor one. Jhonny chews it for a while, then says,
"Teacher, I don't know what it is.". The teacher tries to give him a hint and says, "it's what your parents call each other when you are asleep". Immediately the boy behind Jhonny screams, "Spit it out Jhonny, it's an asshole!!!"
A family had a very disobedient dog. it would bite the children’s hands when they pet the animal, the dog would piss on everything, and it would chew their shoes. This is why it was adopted.
a friend of mine chews gum lays back to yawn then chokes on the gom then i said god what u choking on dick?
I’m gonna kick some gum and chew some ass.... but I’m all out of ass
What's red and sits in the corner? A baby chewing on a razor blade.
What's green and sits in the corner? Same baby, one week later.
How can you tell if a gay guy has a high sperm count? Chew when you swallow!
What goes in hard but comes out soft
Gum
A man walks into a diner one day, walks up to the counter, and proceeds to order a bowl of chili.
The waitress says that the man sitting next to him just ordered the last bowl they had. That man was just sitting there, not eating the chili.
After watching him not eating for a while, the first man asks him, "Are you going to eat that?"
The second man replies, "No, you can have it if you want."
So the first man takes the bowl and starts eating.
About halfway through the bowl, he's chewing when he feels a crunch. He looks down only to see half a dead rat sitting in the chili.
He immediately throws all of it up, back into the bowl.
The second man looks at him and says, "Yeah, that's about as far as I got too."
How do you eat a meat? - you steak it in your mouth
I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot. Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? -- The wheelchair.
How do you get chewing gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
The teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Chew chew!"