Chair jokes
What do you call a chair with a hat?
I don't know; the real question is, why was the chair wearing a hat?
Who's the best at musical chairs?
Stephen Hawking.
Q: What did the kid say as he tossed a chair to his neighbor's house?
A: You're the chairman of the board!
What do you call a chair?
I don't know. What?
Oh, hi, Chairity!
Why didn't the chair cross the road? Because it was a chair.
What runs faster than Stephen Hawking in his wheelchair?
His Internet.
How did Stephen Hawking die? His wife needed to charge her iPhone.
When two wheelchairs hit each other, is it a fender bender?
A conductor was conducting a song. At the end, he threw his conductor's stick and killed someone. He was put to the electric chair, but nothing happened. They asked why he didn't die, and he replied, "I'm a bad conductor."
A blind man walked into a bar, and a table, and a chair.
John saw a Gay in a wheelchair.
"I didn't know a man could be a fruit and a Vegetable!"
Three disabled guys (a blind man, an amputee, and a guy in a wheelchair) are flying back with the USA team from the Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes in the Sahara Desert. The three disabled guys (the only survivors) are now stranded and wait for someone to rescue them, but no one showed. They start to get real thirsty, so they decide to seek out water. The amputee leads the way, with the blind man pushing the guy in the wheelchair; and, eventually they find an oasis. The amputee leader goes into the water first, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he has a NEW LEG! He gets excited and encourages his friends to do the same.
The blind man offers to push the guy in the wheelchair, but he gets refused because the guy in the chair wants to be Mr. Independent and insists the blind man goes ahead first. So he goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he can SEE! Now the guy in the wheelchair's getting really excited, starts pushing with all his might, goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, and wheels out the other side. Lo and behold, NEW TIRES!!!
A guy walks into a bar, then a table, and then a chair.
A boy is sitting in a dentist chair getting braces, and a dentist comes in and says, "Brace yourself!"
I sat on a chair.
One day, I sit in the lounge on a chair.
Yes.
The wheels on the wheelchair go round and round.
How do you know when a cabbage is boiled?
The wheelchair floats to the top.
A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other, and a desk strapped to his back.
A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying, "I'm arresting you for impersonating an office, sir!"