why do priests perform baptisms, so they can see children wet
do you know why orphans cant get married. because they will never get there parents blessing
“I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.
A young boy is in a tepee with his father, just after his sister's naming ceremony. Curious to how it works, he asks his dad, "Father, why is my sister's name Tulip?" His father responds, "That is her name because a tulip was the first thing she saw when she first opened her eyes." The boy was still puzzled. "What about big brother Sparrow?" "His name is Sparrow because a sparrow landed on him when he first began walking." The boy finally asked how he was named. "Well, we decided to name you the same way as your sister." The boy nods with understanding, "Thank you, father." "No problem, Two-Dogs-Fucking."
I remember when I was at a funeral at the age of 6. I was with my grandma and asked, "Grandma, Grandma. Why is that man in a box?" and she says, "He's in a better place now." I look at her confused and ask, "WHAT KIND OF BOX DID HE LIVE IN BEFORE?! HOW IS THIS BOX BETTER THAN THE LAST ONE?! IT'S JUST A BOX!" And to this day I am still not allowed to go to funerals.
Why can’t orphans be married
Because they won’t have their parents blessings
What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in Bed I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight
They asked me to speak at this funeral, and I said “Of corpse”!
What did Yoda say to Luke during his wedding ceremony? May divorce be with you.
my grandma told me i was next at my brothers wedding so i told her she was next at her husband's funeral
Why are orphan weddings so entertaining?
They get to walk themselves down the isle.
What do you call a blonde in the freezer? Her parents named her Jessica, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
Two WiFi routers got married. The ceremony was OK, but the reception was amazing.
Why do priests dunk babies in water at their baptism? Because it's important to wash your sex toys
Before you leave that marriage, remember that one inn0cent 🐐 g0at was k!lled for your traditional marriage😔☹️☹️☹️
What did the priest say during the christening 'So anyway I started blasting'
a russian wedding should be called a soviet union
My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says you’re next When we attend aFuneral, I say you’re next
So a man goes to church is dipped in water 3 times by a Priest as he says, " From now on your name is Michael and you will shed your sins of gambling and alcohol. " . Soon after the man heads home and rushes to the fridge to grab a can of beer. He turns on the sink and dips it in the water 3 times while saying, " From now on you will be known as Not Alcohol. " .
When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug. His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.
