Why are orphan weddings so entertaining?
They get to walk themselves down the isle.
do you know why orphans cant get married. because they will never get there parents blessing
Why can’t orphans be married
Because they won’t have their parents blessings
They asked me to speak at this funeral, and I said “Of corpse”!
What do you call a blonde in the freezer? Her parents named her Jessica, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
Two WiFi routers got married. The ceremony was OK, but the reception was amazing.
Why do priests dunk babies in water at their baptism? Because it's important to wash your sex toys
a russian wedding should be called a soviet union
Before you leave that marriage, remember that one inn0cent 🐐 g0at was k!lled for your traditional marriage😔☹️☹️☹️
What did the priest say during the christening 'So anyway I started blasting'
When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug. His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.
imma eat a hell of a lot of popcorn kernels before i die just to make the cremation a lil more interesting
What happened to the eight year old boy that needed to go to the bathroom during church? The priest stopped him on the way there
At weddings, old people tell kids "you're next". At funerals, little kids tell old people "you're next".
why was the people's wedding so miserable... cause during the kiss someone farted so loud and stinky they agreed to never try to have another wedding
How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
Why do brides wear white?
So the match the kitchen appliances
I remember when I was at a funeral at the age of 6. I was with my grandma and asked, "Grandma, Grandma. Why is that man in a box?" and she says, "He's in a better place now." I look at her confused and ask, "WHAT KIND OF BOX DID HE LIVE IN BEFORE?! HOW IS THIS BOX BETTER THAN THE LAST ONE?! IT'S JUST A BOX!" And to this day I am still not allowed to go to funerals.
Which is the worst place to sit at inna wedding ? Between 2 buttcheeks
A young boy is in a tepee with his father, just after his sister's naming ceremony. Curious to how it works, he asks his dad, "Father, why is my sister's name Tulip?" His father responds, "That is her name because a tulip was the first thing she saw when she first opened her eyes." The boy was still puzzled. "What about big brother Sparrow?" "His name is Sparrow because a sparrow landed on him when he first began walking." The boy finally asked how he was named. "Well, we decided to name you the same way as your sister." The boy nods with understanding, "Thank you, father." "No problem, Two-Dogs-Fucking."
