Cent jokes
They didn't know where to put the orphan. He was returned from the hospital he was born from; the parents gained one cent, while the orphan gained potatoes as friends.
What concert only costs 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
How do you know if a rapper's broke?
When he starts dropping cents instead of bars.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to read?
50 Cents of Gray.
Why can't poor people write jokes?
Because they make no cents.
If I had kept all my two cents to myself, I'd have enough money to publish my own newspaper now.
Why did the sick juice tree go to the hospital? Because it needed lemin-ade (not the cool type of sick, the one where you are in the hospital). Lemin-ade 1st ade.
Does this sentence make any sense?
What do you call the middle of a penny?
A center (get it? Cent-er).
"Does this make any cents?" a man says.
"Oh, it does make cents," me. <-- thing: Lemin"aid" <-- another joke.
What does the cent say when it says hello? It waves.
What's the difference between 63 cents and Princess Diana?
It's easier to scrape up 63 cents.
If every time someone faints when they see your face and I get 1 cent, I would be a trillionaire.
So you're saying a penny is worth more than a penny?
That don't make no cents.
For every dollar a man makes, a woman makes 70 cents.
That’s unfair! Now the man only has 30 cents!
Yo mamma so dumb, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
The 10 cents said to the 1 cent, "Haha, I make more cents than you!"
The cashier kicked me out because when he asked for 99 cents, I gave him 99 scents.
I went to go mine for some gold, but then I saw some shorts.
Friend: "Your jokes are too short."
Me: "Zip it, my jokes are always golden."
Friend: "You're such an ingot, don't forget your jokes are always Aurum."
Me: "I know my jokes are Aurum; it's always because I always glitz."
Friend: "At least I have luminescent" (Get it? Lu mines cent)
If I had a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d still only have five cents.