Cent

Cent Jokes

Rapper

How do you know if a rapper's broke?

When he starts dropping cents instead of bars.

Money

If I had kept all my two cents to myself, I'd have enough money to publish my own newspaper now.

Tree

Why did the sick juice tree go to the hospital? Because it needed lemin-ade (not the cool type of sick, the one where you are in the hospital). Lemin-ade 1st ade.

Penny

What do you call the middle of a penny?

A center (get it? Cent-er).

Man

"Does this make any cents?" a man says.

"Oh, it does make cents," me. <-- thing: Lemin"aid" <-- another joke.

Face

If every time someone faints when they see your face and I get 1 cent, I would be a trillionaire.

Penny

So you're saying a penny is worth more than a penny?

That don't make no cents.

Dollar

For every dollar a man makes, a woman makes 70 cents.

That’s unfair! Now the man only has 30 cents!

Mamma

Yo mamma so dumb, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.

Scent

The cashier kicked me out because when he asked for 99 cents, I gave him 99 scents.

Gold

I went to go mine for some gold, but then I saw some shorts.

Friend: "Your jokes are too short."

Me: "Zip it, my jokes are always golden."

Friend: "You're such an ingot, don't forget your jokes are always Aurum."

Me: "I know my jokes are Aurum; it's always because I always glitz."

Friend: "At least I have luminescent" (Get it? Lu mines cent)

Nickel

If I had a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d still only have five cents.

Rapper

Kile: Hey, asshole! I bet you listen to trash 50 Cent! How about you get to quarters, listen to him! My favorite rapper is the best of all! How about you go eat a cracker, you parrot nose, fuck!

Remy: I'm... y-y... YOUR DUMBER THAN ANT! I BET YOUR FAVORITE RAPPER IS A CANDY RAPPER!!