Johnny had 55 pineapples. He threw three at his friend. How many does he have now?
None because he was pistol whipped then shot at point blank range with a sawed off shotgun covered in fluoroantimonic acid which burned a hole in his skull causing his brain to melt and rupture nerve cells all over his friends. Then his arms and legs were stuffed into a wheat thresher which was used to harvest the meat of the enslaved children. Then his corpse was molested.
hg ugyf tyy!
How does in-mates keep in touch? They have cell phone.
What is a prisoner's favorite punctuation?
A period.
Why?
Because it marks the end of a sentence.
the moment when you tell an illegal immigrant to go home and he walks to the jail cell and closes it.
Why did the person go to jail?
He committed a crime.
Sam is a kindergartener. One day, Sam’s teacher told him to learn the first few letters of the alphabet. Later that night, Sam asked his moody sister what the first letter of the alphabet was and she replied with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless...”. Sam then went up to his room and found his brother crying on the floor. Sam asked him what the next letter was. “I hate you!” said sam’s brother, so Sam left the room. Sam went to his mom and asked her what the third letter was. “You stupid f*****” his mom yelled at him. So Sam went to ask his Grandpa what the fourth letter is and his grandpa didn’t reply, so Sam went to bed.
The next day, Sam’s teacher called on him to tell the class what the first letter is and he answered with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless...” and the teacher sent him to the school counselor. As he left the room, he yelled at his teacher “I hate you!”
As Sam arrived at the counselors office she said she had called his parents and they wanted him to be safe and locked up in a padded cell. “You stupid f*****” Sam screamed as he heard the ambulance sirens getting nearer. As the ambulance drove away, Sam, in his straight jacket, was silent.
What do Cells always have on them?
A Cell Phone!
What do cells call their friends with? A cell phone
7 little children gathered around the bed bill cosbys fantasy all he wants to do is tickle the kids its as plain as can be 7 cell mates gathered around the bed ready to rape bill cosby instead
What did the bitch say to her sister when she stepped on her toe? Oww Mitosis!
What does Christian say when he wants out of jail?
Bale me out!
Age is just a number,
Jail is just a room.
What do you call a Dwarf with ESP that escaped a prison?A Small Medium at Large
one day, little Sally hears the phone ringing. she picks it up "Hello, this is daddy, Sally. Is your mom nearby." Sally says, "No, shes upstairs with Uncle john" "Uncle john? i don't know an Uncle John." "no, no, no, you must be mistaken, daddy" "no i'm sure there's no one named Uncle John in our family." "Okay, but why did you call?" Says Sally. "Ummm no reason, just tell mommy that daddy's pulling into the driveway right now." "Okay daddy!"
*long pause*
"Okay daddy! I did it!' "Great job Sally! What did she says?"
"Mommy said OH FU.. and then she ran around with no clothes on and tripped on the carpet and hit her head on the bookshelf. shes now resting it looks like... then Uncle John screams and jumps out the window into the swimming pool, but of course we took all the water out this winter..."
then dad replies "Swimming pool? we dont have a...is this 468-1843?"
Why did the sperm cross the road? To get to the vagina!
what does the cell ride to work? A vesicle
What do you do when you get rid of prostate cancer?
Cell-ablate!
What do you call a malignant cell in Paris?
A Royale with cancer.
What did the cancer cell say to it’s neighbor?
Mind if I join you?
