Cell jokes
Girlfriend: You remind me of a cell phone.
Girlfriend's ex: Why?
Girlfriend: Because you're about to die.
You have more chin than brain cells!
Why do orphans hate mitosis cells?
They have parents.
What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner? A kong-vict.
What’s the difference between a chromosome and a hormone?
You can hear a hormone.
How many brain cells does a pregnant blonde have?
Two, one for her and one for the baby.
What did the cell phone say to his wife?
"I will give you a ring."
I'm jealous of my LED lights, 'cause they're hanging from the ceiling and I'm not.
What's a prisoner's favorite game?
Hangman!
What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his foot?
Mitosis!!! (my-toe-sis)
Why are Amoebas so bad at math?
Because, when they need to multiply, they divide.
A drunk guy runs into a bar... He bangs his head and falls down, why?
Because he is in a prison cell.
Why don't you act like an amoeba and split?
What do you call a nut in jail?
A busted nut.
Mitosis!!!!!! >:)
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”
The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”
Stop putting up bad jokes, boi!
A man walks into a bar. The corrections officer says, "Usually we open the cell before you go in, now stop bleeding on my floor!"
I just got a text on my cell. Bone be right back ;)
You used to call me on your cellphone when you need my love.
Mad girl: SHUT UP! YOU ARE SO ANNOYING! I DON'T WANT TO CALL YOU ON MY CELL PHONE!