New Cell Jokes - Page 2 - Worst Jokes Ever

im jealous at me led lights. cause they r hanging from the celling ans im not.

Whats a prisoners favorite game?

Hangman!

What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his foot? Mitosis !!! (my-toe-sis)

A drunk guy runs into a bar... he bangs his head and falls down, why? Because he is in a prison cell.

Why don't you act like an amoeba and split.

what do u call a nut in jail: a busted nut

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.

“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”

The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”

There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”

STOP PUTTING UP BAD JOKES BOI

A man walks into a bar, the corrections officer says "Usually we open the cell before you go in, now stop bleeding on my floor!"

I just got a text on my cell bone be right back ;)

you use to call me on your cellphone when you need my love mad girl; SHUT UP YOU ARE SO ANNOYING I DONT WANT TO CALL YOU ON MY CELL PHONE

What’s the only type of Batteries that they use in prisons? Durracell

I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me. She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand. Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys I asked and she said that’s my fam as well I noticed an Alabama drivers license I asked where which one was her dad she said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter I casually asked what he did for work self employed she said That’s the last time I use ancestry.com

What did the cell say when it was dividing? "It's not you, it's me."

Johnny had 55 pineapples. He threw three at his friend. How many does he have now?

None because he was pistol whipped then shot at point blank range with a sawed off shotgun covered in fluoroantimonic acid which burned a hole in his skull causing his brain to melt and rupture nerve cells all over his friends. Then his arms and legs were stuffed into a wheat thresher which was used to harvest the meat of the enslaved children. Then his corpse was molested.