Cell Jokes

What did one brain cell say to the other brain cell?

"I think I feel a connection."

Sam is a kindergartener. One day, Sam’s teacher told him to learn the first few letters of the alphabet. Later that night, Sam asked his moody sister what the first letter of the alphabet was and she replied with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless...”. Sam then went up to his room and found his brother crying on the floor. Sam asked him what the next letter was. “I hate you!” said sam’s brother, so Sam left the room. Sam went to his mom and asked her what the third letter was. “You stupid f*****” his mom yelled at him. So Sam went to ask his Grandpa what the fourth letter is and his grandpa didn’t reply, so Sam went to bed.

The next day, Sam’s teacher called on him to tell the class what the first letter is and he answered with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless...” and the teacher sent him to the school counselor. As he left the room, he yelled at his teacher “I hate you!”

As Sam arrived at the counselors office she said she had called his parents and they wanted him to be safe and locked up in a padded cell. “You stupid f*****” Sam screamed as he heard the ambulance sirens getting nearer. As the ambulance drove away, Sam, in his straight jacket, was silent.

Q: What do you call a blonde with only two brain cells?

A: Pregnant

A man walks into a bar, the corrections officer says "Usually we open the cell before you go in, now stop bleeding on my floor!"

If I had a dollar for every brain cell LEO has, I’d have ONE DOLLAR

girlfriend: you remind me of a cell phone

girlfriend's ex: why?

Girlfriend: because your about to die

Why did the sperm cross the road? To get to the vagina!

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A BLOOD CELL
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HISTORY.COM 18 YEARS OLD
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A Person that puts a RickRoll in a book is actually the hero we all needed...

Never has a man influenced physics so profoundly as Niels Bohr in the early 1900's.
Going back to this time period, little was known about atomic structure; Bohr set out
to end the obscurity of physics. However things didn't come easy for Bohr. He had to
give up most of his life for physics and research of many hypothesis. But, this is why
you and I have even heard of the quantum theory and atomic structures. Bohr came
up with his quantum theory while studying at Cambridge. Bohr was a skeptic and he
never truly believed in Max Planck's old quantum theory. He put forth the idea that,
going from one high-energy orbit o a lower one, an electron could, in fact, be trying
to emit a quantum of discrete energy. Bohr was criticized for this idea, but he didn't
let up. Soon after, Bohr said his famed quote,"If quantum mechanics hasn't shocked
you, you haven't understood it yet." This quote is extremely famous and has gone
down as the motto for quantum physicist around the world. Understandably, Bohr
never won a Nobel prize outside of physics (of which he only won one). Bohr's still
going strong with his theories on atomic structure; he allowed for 100's of scientists
to fully experiment with the cell and its many components. Bohr was largely on the
run from the Nazi's when he came up with this discovery, which is amazing because
around this time, Bohr's home country of Denmark was invaded by the Nazi's. Bohr
and Ernest Rutherford are given credit, but it is believed that Rutherford decided to
desert Bohr in the middle of their work. Rutherford once, quite famously said that
you should never bet against the wonders of science. Niels Bohr's famous career
never really kicked off until he was forty years old. Most other major scientists were
going all over the world with their ideas by their early twenties. However, in order
to preserve the legacy of Niels Bohr, he has his own institution, whose goal is to
make many more great strides in the field of physics for years. How did Bohr affect
you and me? Without Niels Bohrs' more advanced atomic theory, we might as well
cry over how little we know of the atoms and their compounds. Physics would have
never been such a force in the todays society. However, to this day, research is still
going on to improve and update the atomic theory. Although scientists clearly want
to improve on Bohr's theory, many famous physicists come out publicly and openly
say that Bohr's ideas will never be improved upon, todays society cannot say
goodbye to an opportunity to improve our understanding of the sciences. If Bohr
never had silenced his critics, we would still be following Planck's theories, and
going on incomplete information. Bohr's later life was all occupied when he decided
to go back to Denmark and head the Royal Danish Academy. His main goal was to
tell the world of the of the greatness of the Danish Sciences and most likely educate
a new crop of scientists for years to come. There is controversy surrounding Bohr's
lie during his stint in the Manhattan project. Though he claimed to be anti-violence
and a peace-seeker, Bohr engineered on the Manhattan Project. Though he didn't
hurt anyone directly, thousands of people died. Neils Bohr opened many doors for
you and I in the physics world, he will go down as one of the greatest physicists.

How does in-mates keep in touch? They have cell phone.

7 little children gathered around the bed bill cosbys fantasy all he wants to do is tickle the kids its as plain as can be 7 cell mates gathered around the bed ready to rape bill cosby instead

Warning! Cringe Alert! What happens when you leave your phone at jail? It becomes a cell-phone.

You have two brains cells, one is lost and the other is out looking for it.

What 16 stoner rode a Derby winner.

Lester Piggotts cell mate.

My blood cell's reaction
after seeing me tear off a
scab that took them 10
hours to make

I just got a text on my cell bone be right back ;)

A drunk guy runs into a bar... he bangs his head and falls down, why? Because he is in a prison cell.

Johnny had 55 pineapples. He threw three at his friend. How many does he have now?

None because he was pistol whipped then shot at point blank range with a sawed off shotgun covered in fluoroantimonic acid which burned a hole in his skull causing his brain to melt and rupture nerve cells all over his friends. Then his arms and legs were stuffed into a wheat thresher which was used to harvest the meat of the enslaved children. Then his corpse was molested.

I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me. She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand. Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys I asked and she said that’s my fam as well I noticed an Alabama drivers license I asked where which one was her dad she said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter I casually asked what he did for work self employed she said That’s the last time I use ancestry.com