Celebrity jokes
Are you Shane Dawson?
Because I can be your pussy.
Celebrating Mother's Day is confusing, says my cousin.
What do you call a movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bill Cosby?
Predator.
Chuck Norris has gone to Mars. That's why there is no life on it.
Yo mama is so ugly that Kanye West went East to get away from her.
What’s the difference between a whale and Lizzo?
Absolutely nothing.
Mia: I'm pregnant again, Paul. I can't wait for you to come home.
Paul: I got a tree to hit on the way.
Who's the closest family member to Paul Walker?
Answer: The tree.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite phrase to parents of boys? "Leave me alone!"
What does Michael Jackson and Chef from South Park have in common?
They both say "Hello children!"
What's the difference between Vin Diesel and an orphan?
Vin Diesel has family.
What do you call a chubby Robert Pattinson? The Fatman.
What did they find in Paul Walker's glovebox?
His head and shoulders.
They should bring Michael Jackson back from the dead so he can star in the Peter Pan horror movie.
What does Johnny Depp hate about driving a car?
He can't drink and drive.
What is the difference between Juice Wrld and an orphan?
One is loved by all.
What is worse than ants in your pants? Michael Jackson.
Look, Bono is a great guy, but shopping with him is a pain, because he still hasn't found what he is looking for.
Your hairline goes so far back it looks like Will Smith slapped it.
Did you all hear about the newest gay celebrity couple? Yeah, John Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzjohn.