A woman delivers a baby. The doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. The mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging, “WHYYYY!!??”. The doctor holds the baby upside down by the ankle and says, “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.
Why does it take longer for women to orgasm than men?
Who cares?
The orphanage said I couldn't go home.
Your dad is gone.
(BILL is sitting in the waiting room, fidgeting with his tie. MR. SMITH enters with a clipboard.)
MR. SMITH: (sternly) Good morning, Bill. Ready for your interview?
BILL: (nervously) Uh, yes, sir! I’ve prepared a lot for this!
MR. SMITH: (raising an eyebrow) Great! Let’s start with an easy question. Why do you want this job?
BILL: (confidently) Well, I want to help your company succeed! I believe in hard work and dedication!
MR. SMITH: (nods) Good to hear. Now, what’s your biggest weakness?
BILL: (eyes widening) I tend to be overly honest.
MR. SMITH: (leaning in) That’s not really a weakness.
BILL: (smirking) I don’t care what you think!
(MR. SMITH pauses, surprised, then bursts out laughing.)
MR. SMITH: (laughing) Okay, you’re hired! We need more honesty around here!
What time is it when dogs get hurt?
Time to take your dog to the vet!
The orphans all died!!!
Oh wait, no one cares...
Their parents are all dead anyway. We are just making them happier. They get to join their parents in hell.
why do orphans like pedo because it's someone that loves them and they can call daddy
What do orphans and deaf people have in common?
They can't here there parents.
Doctor : I can't treat you ORPHAN: WHy! Doctor :I'm a family Doctor
To Mr. Nice Guy, you are nice, sweet, and caring! I am so grateful to be your friend!
When you were born, your mom said you were out of bounds, so you went flying out of the hospital.
I have some words that might make sense to girls, but maybe not to boys, ready?
smart
kind
sweet
caring
loving
mature
Q: What do you call an owner that can't take care of their cat? A: A impurrefect owner.
Christopher Columbus: *Sees native Americans* Can I see your land?
Native Americans: Sure, just be care..........
Christopher Columbus: Boonk gang whole lot of gang shit.
If her age is on the timer, I don't care if she's a minor.
One time, I took my wife to the doctors. My wife had a severe migraine and needed a medic. I waited for about 10 minutes.
The doctor walked out with my wife in a wheelchair. "Due to your wife's broken hip, she may never walk again," said the doctor. "She had a migraine," I said. "Oh, we know," said the doctor.
orphan- I love abcdefu care taker- why, you dont have anyone to flip off
I DONT CARE IF I GOT BEAT THE FIRST DAY U WERE BORN YO MOMMA ASK FOR A RECIEPT
Be careful around fire plastic melts
Do you know why orphans dont have parents ? Because no one rasied you
