Care jokes

If her age is on the timer, I don't care if she's a minor.

One time, I took my wife to the doctors. My wife had a severe migraine and needed a medic. I waited for about 10 minutes.

The doctor walked out with my wife in a wheelchair. "Due to your wife's broken hip, she may never walk again," said the doctor. "She had a migraine," I said. "Oh, we know," said the doctor.

What is an orphan versus orphan competition?

Who will get adopted first?

I was at the orphan place, and I saw a kid crying. And I asked him where his parents are, and he fainted.

What is an orphan's first step to the orphanage?

Do you know why orphans don't have parents?

Because no one raised you.

Be careful around fire, plastic melts.

I don't care if I got beat the first day you were born. Your momma asked for a receipt!

Orphan: I love abcdefu!

Caretaker: Why? You don't have anyone to flip off.

I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.

"Chairing is caring, folks!"

Okay, Gwen, I'll be offline for a while... so if anyone by my name types anything, it's a fake. The only way you know it's me is if I say one of my nicknames. Okay, so yeah, take care of my account while I'm gone. BYE!!!!

Treon: I don't care about Vorkie.

Amber: You should, she could be a great person for the company.

Treon: We don't need another one, we got 100 people in here, no need. Now, Amber, please just go make yourself useful.

Amber: Fine!!!!!

There was a kid sitting in a corner.

Me: "Hey! Why are you here at an orphanage?"

Orphan: "..."

Me: "Oh, wait, you're an orphan."

For sale: Wheelchair, one careful owner, no longer needed.

Where did the orphans go when the orphanage blew up?

Everywhere...

Why did the orphan want to go to jail?

So he could have a home and be cared for with food.

Why can't orphans go outside?

Because their parents aren't there to watch them!

Opinions are like orgasms. The only one that matters is mine and I don't care if you have one.

In Rocket League, you don't care who wins game MVP as long as it's not somebody on the other team.